Risks
by Seigi-san
Summary: AUish version of how MXM got together, mainly because I can't believe they wasted a whole MONTH in Orb before they even kissed. Rated T for smuts.
1. Chapter 1

He was watching her.

Not that it was unpleasant, mind you - he wasn't staring. He was just sitting there on the office sofa signing his name to a bundle of maintenance logs but every so often he'd glance up at her, a gentle smile curving his lips if they made eye contact. And she could never help smiling back, always conscious of a warmth in her cheeks....and her heart. Things were different now, somehow, and she wasn't sure why. _Or is it that I do know why, but I'm afraid to think about it?_ At Alaska she'd realised that the connection between the two of them ran deeper than either of them had known - that it wasn't just friendship anymore. It was a comforting feeling, but also a frightening one. Shuffling her papers together she risked another peek, heart fluttering when he grinned rather boyishly and tipped her a wink.

"You're distracting me," she grumbled softly, trying to scowl when he laughed. "You _are_."

"Haven't done anything."

"That's not the point." Flustered, she picked up her pen to sign her name to the various documents. She didn't like to accuse him of anything if he wasn't being serious.....he was the kind of person who'd try and unbalance her just for fun. Deciding to ignore him Murrue instead focused on her work, though she knew he wouldn't leave it at that. And she was right.

"How'm I distracting you? I'm not doing anything I shouldn't. Just doing my work."

"You keep looking up at me." Knowing how silly it sounded she stared at her desk. "It's distracting."

He chuckled. "Am I not allowed to look at you now?"

"I didn't say that."

"I know you didn't. But if I'm making you uncomfortable, I'll stop."

"I.." She ran a hand through her hair. "It's not that."_ It's not like I mind him looking. I just didn't expect to mind it as little as I do._ If he'd been leering (like she'd caught him doing more than once) it would be easy to ignore or chastise him for, but that smile was something different - something she wasn't prepared for. "You're...not making me uncomfortable."

"Then what's wrong?"

"Nothing. It's just me. Forget I said anything." Irritated with herself she leaned back in her chair and rubbed at her eyes. This wasn't like her. She was so used to understanding her own thoughts, her own feelings...why was she being thrown off balance like this? He'd been in here before, to work or just to (she suspected) annoy her, and she'd never reacted this way.

"You're not used to it."

"Not used to what?" she asked shortly, not looking at him,

"Being treated as something more than a soldier."

She frowned at the odd statement. "How do you mean?"

"If I was in here being professional, talking as a pilot to their captain, you'd be fine. But because I'm treating you differently you're not sure what to do. Am I right?"

"Why are you treating me differently anyway?"

"Because things _are_ different now. You know that."

"Do I?"

Now it was his turn to frown. "What, was I seeing things?"

"That depends on what you saw."

"You were crying."

Murrue picked at the work on her desk. "I don't like losing friends." _And I wish you hadn't seen it._

"If that's all I thought it meant, I'd have gone to California."

"What did you think it meant?"

The thump of his hands on her desk made her jump - she hadn't even seen him get up. Her own hands curled around the bundle of papers she slowly looked up, dark eyes widening at how close he was. He wasn't smiling, wasn't angry....there was almost no expression there at all. Not on his face, anyway. His eyes however.... now that was another matter. There was confusion there at her deliberate obtuseness, and irritation, but there was also the kindness she was used to, as well as honest affection. And that was what she'd been afraid of._ I didn't want this. It would be far easier if we just stayed friends..._

"Would you rather I _had_ gone?"

"No, of course I wouldn't." Tapping her papers together she looked away. "Why would you think that?"

"I might as well have with the way you've been avoiding me."

"I haven't been avoiding anyone."

The Commander seemed about to retort then stopped, letting go a breath in a deep sigh. He shook his head, the hint of a smile quirking the corners of his lips. "You're a pain in the ass sometimes." The comment took her by surprise, so much so she couldn't find a comeback, instead opening and closing her mouth rather like a fish. The blonde man did smile at this, and before she could react he leaned forward and kissed her.

And for a moment she was frozen, the sheer unexpectedness of it knocking her off-balance for at least the third time that day. He seemed to know it, chuckling into the exchange before pulling away, blue eyes twinkling with amusement. "That worked, didn't it?"

"W-worked how?"

"How d'you think? Been waiting for a good ten minutes to get the edge in that conversation....eventually I just figured I'd come out and do what I was going to ask you if I could."

She blinked. "You were going to _ask_ if you could kiss me?"

"Sure. Only polite. But you were on the defensive, so I thought you might hit me."

Murrue finally grinned, unable to help herself. "You did, huh? Would you like me to?"

"Not especially. I was hoping you might let me kiss you again. If that's all right, that is."

"Oh." All right? Would that be all right? Definitely more than friendship, though how much more she wasn't sure. But what surprised her most was how much she wanted to find out. "Yes, I think that would be all right." Getting to her feet she tugged on his collar to bring him close and kiss him, dark eyes fluttering closed when he wound an arm around her waist to deepen the exchange. When they broke apart he grinned, ruffling her hair.

"So you are glad I came back."

"Yes, I suppose I am."

"And you won't avoid me anymore?"

"Not unless you're annoying me."

He laughed at that, ducking down to peck a kiss to her cheek. "I promise I'll try not to."

_Maybe being off-balance isn't so bad after all._


	2. Chapter 2

"Will you slow down?"

"What for?"

He gave an exasperated sigh and jogged to catch up with her. "This is supposed to be a nice stroll, not power-walking."

"Don't exaggerate."

"I'm not. Carry on like that and you'll probably lap me."

The idea was ridiculous, yet at the same time so funny she couldn't help but smile, turning to face him. He was rather flushed from the heat, blonde hair clinging to his forehead, but he was smiling himself just like always. He'd asked (very nicely) if she'd come and take a walk with him on one of Orb's beaches to make the most of the limited free time they had, and though she'd had work to do she'd found herself accepting the offer. He was good company, sunny-natured and happy, which made her feel guilty at the way she treated him sometimes. He never complained, or at least not that she knew of - he simply accepted it.

"Why?"

"Because you're walking too fast."

"Not that. I mean.....why do you put up with me? I can't be easy to get along with."

He chuckled. "Sometimes you aren't." he admitted candidly. "But I like you."

The simple statement caused her to blush faintly and she sighed, running a hand through auburn hair. "Why, though? I'm nothing special."

"You are to me. For lots of reasons."

"That's good to know." She didn't ask what the reasons were, mainly because she herself couldn't see or understand them, but evidently there was something about her that he considered special. And that....felt nice. _It's been a long time since someone told me I was special to them. _The last person who had.. Smiling a little she shook her head. "Idiot."

The Commander laughed again at that, hands stuffed in his pockets. "Why can't you make this easy for me? You make 'playing hard to get' an art form."

"Ah, but there's the challenge."

He actually pouted. "You're so mean. Do you have a secret boyfriend or something?"

"If I had, do you think I'd have let you kiss me?"

"How would I know? You haven't told me anything about yourself."

"I.." More true than she wanted to admit. She'd kept him at arm's length like she had everyone, being friendly but not too friendly. Things were just easier that way. But he wasn't like the others. He wasn't content to just stay a friend - he'd made that clear when he kissed her. He'd shown her kindness, been a constant presence and a shoulder to lean on. She owed him the truth, didn't she?

"He died." Sitting down on the sand she stared out at the horizon, looking up briefly when he sat beside her. "I never even got to say goodbye to him." Talking about him brought sadness but not tears...she'd cried enough. Though she'd always believed tears to be a sign of strength, she didn't want to cry for him anymore. He'd never liked to see her sad, and she suspected the Commander wouldn't either. "It's been a year now almost."

"I'm sorry."

"For what? You weren't to know."

"I shouldn't have pushed things. I should have asked first if it was okay."

Murrue smiled. "Can't hide myself away forever.."

"You should do what you feel comfortable with." He looked quite angry with himself, only glancing back at her when she placed a hand on his arm and squeezed gently.

"It's alright."

"No, it isn't.

"It's my fault for not telling you."

He shook his head. "I never even asked. I just assumed. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"You didn't. I was worried I'd hurt you by keeping my distance. It was selfish of me....but I don't know how to choose, or if I'm even meant to choose."

"You don't need to choose." Looking a little happier he flopped backwards onto the sand, blue eyes reflecting the sky. "Hearts are big enough to hold more than one person if you want them to. Least, that's what I think."

Surprised at the oddly thoughtful words she watched him for a moment, then smiled again, reaching to ruffle his hair. Perhaps he's right. "You think so, huh? Does that mean that you have a girl in every port?"

He wrinkled his nose. "Do I really look like that kind of guy?"

"No, you don't." At first she had thought he was, his easy charm and self-confidence giving the impression of a ladies' man, but over time she'd begun to understand that his real self was very different to the front he presented to the world. He's actually pretty complicated. "Sorry."

He watched her through half-open eyes. Still gazing out to sea she hadn't seemed to have noticed him looking, absently tucking a lock of chocolate-coloured hair behind one ear. Her eyes were faraway, she perhaps lost in memories, and he closed his eyes as a spark of jealousy nagged at him. He wanted to ask more about the man she'd lost but held his tongue - it was none of his business. She'd loved and she'd lost, and if she wanted to remember him he'd let her without interrupting. Placing a hand on his chest he concentrated instead on the sea air and heat of the sun, enjoying the chance to relax. At least, for a moment.

"So what's your story? Do you have someone waiting for you?"

"Me? Nah. Been shipped around so much I've never had chance to find anyone. Besides, who'd go for a dumbass like me?"

"You're not a dumbass."

He smiled lazily. "Aren't I? You think girls would like me?"

"Why wouldn't they?" Her tone was light, almost deliberately so, possibly to detract attention from the colour in her cheeks. "You're a good person, and.." She half-smiled, golden eyes flicking down to her lap as her blush deepened but she didn't finish the sentence, which left him both disappointed and immensely curious.

"I'm glad you think so." he said finally. "It means a lot."

She nodded, still pink-cheeked and settled back to watch the ocean again, thin fingers curled in the fabric of the borrowed orange jumpsuit. This time however she seemed to be aware he was looking, occasionally glancing over at him with that same little smile.

"You're distracting me again."

"From what? No paperwork out here." On a whim he reached out to take her hand, bringing it close to press kisses to the fingertips. "Nothing wrong with being distracted sometimes.."

"No, there isn't. But I'm not used to it."

Mwu grinned. "Good job I'm here then, isn't it?"

"Are you going to teach me how to slack off?"

"Hey.."

She giggled. "Well, you _are_ quite good at it."

"Scuse me, but I do my work."

"After some persuasion." Which was true enough, so he didn't offer up any retort. But it was still a bit of an ego blow. Pretending to sulk he closed his eyes again, only to smile when she threaded fingers through his hair. "Am I wrong?"

"No," he admitted reluctantly. "No, you're not wrong. You're pretty good at getting me to do it." Often that involved icy glares, clipped words or being totally ignored for at least a day, which with him being so fond of her was far worse than being yelled at. She knew he was a little afraid of her when she was annoyed so she used it to her full advantage - she was the boss in more way than one.

"You know, you might be even better at it if you were nice to me."

"But then you wouldn't be as motivated."

"If you promised me a kiss when I was finished I'd work my ass off."

"Would you really?" She sounded thoughtful, and he peeked up at her to see her chewing her lower lip the way she always did when she had a puzzle to solve. Mwu hid a smile....she was actually considering it. It was a measure of how close they'd gotten.

"Of course I would. With a reward like that why wouldn't I?"

"On the lips?"

He chuckled. "Only if you want to. You don't have to make it sound like a chore."

His captain frowned. "I didn't say that." Crossing her arms she stared back out to sea for a few minutes before setting her chin in the determined look he knew well, ducking down and kissing him square on the lips. Taken aback for a moment he simply stared up at her, then smiled, reaching up to tangle a hand in her hair and bring her closer. Whether this was an experiment on her part or something more he wasn't sure, but he rather liked it, and she was blushing again when she pulled away.

"So what's the verdict?"

"I don't know, you tell me." Red almost to her ears she hid her face behind a veil of hair. "You're the one it's supposed to motivate."

"But it doesn't mean anything if you're not happy about doing it." Sitting up he tipped her chin up with a finger to look at her better. "It has to be something you want to do."

"I do. It's just that.."

"I'm not going to rush you into anything. Whatever happens will be because you want it to happen. Okay?"

She smiled a little. "Okay."

His patience was unexpected.....and painful. She'd known he was kind, but not known the extent of that kindness until today. He made it obvious he cared about her, and to deny she had feelings for him would be a lie - only she didn't know what those feelings were. _I like him. He's nice, and funny, and dependable....he's a very good person. But..._ With a small sigh she hid her face in her knees, smiling a little when he rubbed her back gently. "Why are you so nice to me? I'm making things awkward."

"Because I like you. I already told you that."

"You might be waiting a long time.."

"That's okay. Some things are worth the wait and besides," He held up his hand to show that he was still holding hers - she hadn't even noticed. "If you only like me this much it's enough."

"Are you going to be really stubborn about this?"

"Yes." he replied matter-of-factly. "I don't give up easily. When you do decide, I'll be waiting."

"Even if I don't decide in your favour?"

He grinned at that. "I didn't say I wouldn't try to influence you."

"How did I guess?"

"Cause you're smart, and 'cause you know me." He kissed her hand, smile widening when she blushed. "I'll be waiting."


	3. Chapter 3

There was definitely something going on between them. Everyone had noticed. If he wasn't working on Strike he was with her, not quite following her but a constant presence nonetheless and she seemed to not only tolerate that but draw comfort from it, occasionally peeking back at him with a little smile. _And every time she does he looks like he just won the war single-handed. It's cute, almost._ They were more than friends, that much was clear, but what wasn't clear was how much more. And she wanted to know. Keeping a close eye on them she eventually caught the captain alone one evening, leaning on a gantry and gazing out over her ship.

"Where's your shadow?"

She smiled a little ruefully. "Eating."

"Everyone's been talking."

"Yes, I thought they might. He's not very subtle."

"Hard to be subtle when you're that big." Erica pointed out and the younger woman's smile became genuine, even fond. "He likes you, doesn't he?"

"He says so."

"It's obvious he does. You can tell by the way he looks at you. Plus he gets jealous."

"Does he?" She seemed surprised at that. "When?"

"There are a lot of guys here, and you're a popular subject for them." She'd heard the chatter and paid it no mind - boys would be boys, after all. But the Commander.. "He doesn't like it. He doesn't say anything to them, but if he hears them talking he stalks round with a face like thunder."

The captain palmed her face, but Erica thought she saw a hint of a smile there. "You like him too, don't you?"

She flushed light pink. "I.."

"I thought so."

The younger woman rubbed at her nose. "I don't know. When I'm around him I'd say yes, but.."

"But what?" There was no answer, but she thought she understood. "There's someone else?"

"There was. He...I lost him maybe a year ago, and.."

"Ah, I see. You're scared." She scowled, and Erica held up her hands. "Hear me out. Was he a soldier?"

The captain nodded. "A pilot."

"No wonder you're worried. You don't want to get too close in case the same thing happens. In case you lose him too."

She winced but nodded again, thin fingers curled tightly around the gantry railing. She did like the Commander but was preventing herself from letting him get closer, or letting herself get closer. It was perfectly natural - keep your heart protected. But in doing that you missed out on happiness. "Want some advice?"

A small smile. "Sure."

"Go for it."

She raised an eyebrow. "That's your advice?"

"Mmm-hmm. Don't be afraid of the consequences. Let him in."

"But if he.."

"Then you'll remember being happy, won't you? Yeah, you'd miss him more, but I think having happy memories would be better than keeping your distance and regretting it." Leaning on the gantry herself she pointed with a smile. He was there down below with a clipboard, brows knitted as he focused on the written words, and never noticed the women on the gantry - or the others also watching him. "Oh? Seems as though you aren't the only one who's been getting some attention.." A small group of female technicians were gathered near an open doorway, all watching the blonde man with undisguised interest - which clearly didn't sit too well with the captain given her scowl.

"You wouldn't let anyone else have him, then? Not even if you still wanted to keep your distance?"

She watched with mounting irritation as the knot of women whispered and pointed, giggling at some probably salacious comment one of them made. He didn't seem to be paying them much attention, only glancing over his shoulder and nodding politely at them before looking back at his clipboard but she still didn't like it. Arms folded she looked away, pointedly ignoring Director Simmons' snort of laughter. It was obvious what the older woman was thinking, but she was wrong. _I'm not jealous. It's okay for other people to look at him. It's not like I have any right to be jealous, anyway._

"He's looking at you."

Surprised, she glanced down to see that he was indeed looking at her, face lit up in a grin she couldn't help returning. "You think I should let him in, huh?"

"I think you'll regret it if you don't. In wartime or not, you should take happiness where you find it. And though I didn't know him, I don't think your pilot would begrudge it."

The Commander was still watching her, and waved cheerfully. "He told me I was worth the wait. Do you think he's worth the risk?"

"Only_ you_ can decide that."

* * *

The talk made her think. Sitting under a tree on the clifftop later that evening she watched the sunset, curled up with her chin resting on her knees. _I should take happiness where I find it? Would being with him make me happy?_ Being around him inspired confidence, brought comfort and made her smile, and though she'd tried to deny it to others, she couldn't deny to herself that she'd grown fond of him - the thought of losing him had caused tears. _It wasn't just because I depended on him. It was because I cared about him. I still care about him._ Smiling a little she closed her eyes. Keeping her distance would be the simplest option....if you didn't let anyone in you didn't get hurt. But was it too late? If she'd already come this far, then why not just go the rest of the way? Nodding to herself Murrue got to her feet, pressing a hand to her chest as her heartbeat picked up. She'd made her choice. Whether it was the right one or not she didn't know, but she'd take the chance anyway.

It took a while to find him - he wasn't on the ship or in Morgenroete - but eventually she tracked him down to the beach. Twilight had set in by now, the stars just beginning to emerge from a violet sky - it was almost more beautiful than the sunset had been. He was just sitting there on the sand, face turned upwards to take in the view, and for a moment she stopped and watched him for a while, a smile curving her lips.

"You found me," he said without turning round. "I hoped you would."

"How did you know it was me?"

He smiled himself, looking up and over his shoulder at her. "I could just tell. Here, c'mon.." He held out a hand and she moved to take it, sitting down on the beach beside him. Neither spoke for a while, enjoying the view and each other's company, and it was dark enough for her to sneak peeks without drawing attention to herself.

"The Director talked to me," he announced suddenly. "She told me that I shouldn't give up on you. Now I wasn't planning to, but I just wondered how she knew.."

"She gave me some advice. Helped me understand some things."

"Oh? And what did you decide?"

She smiled. "That some risks are worth taking." Before he could reply to that she settled closer, resting her head on his shoulder. The Commander blinked in surprise, glancing down at her, then chuckled softly.

"I see.." He placed an arm around her. "I'm glad."

"So am I." He was warm, and smelled good, and she closed her eyes with a little sigh. Right now, here like this, she could admit that she'd been lonely. _I missed having someone there for me, missed knowing I was important to someone..._

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"If I pushed you into this."

Murrue laughed. "You know me better than to think I can be pushed into anything I don't want."

"Very true." He grinned, and this time to her surprise lifted her onto his lap and wound arms around her waist, peeking over her shoulder to check her expression. "Sorry. But I've been wanting to hug you for _ages_."

"Oh." Finding no problem with it she leaned back against him, closing eyes with a smile as he nuzzled a kiss to her cheek.

"Cap'n?"

"Mmm?"

"Thank you. For deciding I was worth the risk." There was gratitude in his voice, and affection, and she reached down to take his hands and squeeze gently. He'd be worth it, she felt sure.

It was more than he expected, but everything he'd hoped for. The Director's questions had surprised him, she asking him how he felt about the captain and whether he knew about the one she'd lost, and he'd answered as best he could. _I was able to say that I cared about her, though I'm not sure how much just yet. But I think the more time I spend with her the better I'll be able to answer. _Leaning back on one arm, the other still wrapped around her waist Mwu gazed back up at the stars, feeling more content than he ever remembered.

"What do you think people will say?"

She made a face. "Do we have to tell anyone?"

"The Director's going to know."

"I know. But I don't really want everyone looking and whispering." She was a pretty private person - he'd only just begun getting to know the real woman underneath the layers of rank and formality, so it made sense she'd prefer to keep any relationship they might have between them.

"If that's what you want, then that's fine."

His captain smiled and nodded, stretching out a little before settling back into his embrace with a sigh. He'd never noticed her scent before - he'd never really been close enough - and he rested his chin on her shoulder to breathe in the heady floral mixture. He could see the smile on her face still and chuckled, hugging her closer.

"You think anyone will wonder where we've gone?"

"Let 'em."

"Wouldn't people talk more?"

"Only if they saw us."

The captain wrinkled her nose. "That's not the point."

"No, it's not the point. We can go back if you want." He was reluctant to - he didn't want this to end, and she seemed to understand and maybe feel the same way, as she shook her head.

"We can stay out here a while longer.."

The ship was silent save for their footsteps echoing on the deck. Still cocooned in the Morgenroete dock even the night shift could afford to relax, the ship protected by steel walls and secrecy, so the two of them had the place to themselves almost. As they walked he stole glances at her, hiding a fond smile at how sleepy she looked. "We could have come in earlier."

"I didn't want to. It was so nice out there."

"It was. You want to go out there again tomorrow?"

The captain pinked but smiled. "Are you asking me out?"

"Yep."

"I'd like that. As long as the Director doesn't have to let us in again."

He grinned. Director Simmons had been waiting for them, leaning against the door holding a bunch of keys so she could lock up. She hadn't said anything, just glanced down to where they'd been holding hands and smiled before letting them in. His companion had been blushing something fierce. "She knew. I'll have to ask her about good places to take you."

"I'll look forward to it." They'd reached her door and she peeked up through her eyelashes at him. "Well, thank you for a nice evening."

"I didn't do much."

"You were there, and that was enough." Still blushing slightly she moved close and hugged him, giggling rather breathlessly when he returned the embrace. Seized with optimism he bent and kissed her, trying not to laugh at her squeak of surprise. For a brief moment she hesitated, then returned the kiss, thin fingers curling around his shoulders to hold him close. This wasn't a careful peck like the kisses they'd shared previously - this was one holding all their feelings and it was everything he'd imagined and a little bit more. When they finally broke for air she smiled shyly, blush now a vivid red and he laughed, catching her around the waist and lifting her into the air to swing her around. The captain giggled wildly, dark hair flying out as she was spun. She seemed freer now somehow, a weight gone from her shoulders. _And I won't let it come back. I'll take care of her._

They'd made their choices, and neither would regret them.

* * *

( sherbet! I like sherbet.

please read and review! )


	4. Chapter 4

"Can you quit worrying? How're you meant to enjoy it out here when you're all uptight like that?"

"But Kira-kun.."

"Yeah, the kid saw us leaving. But he won't say anything. He's not the type to gossip."

"You're sure.."

He sighed, catching her hand and pulling her around to face him. Like him, she was dressed for a day of exploring, and had clearly been looking forward to it - at least until they'd run into the kid upon leaving the ship. Kira hadn't said anything, just smiled and nodded, but it had instantly got her worrying that he'd tell everyone. "I bet you ten bucks he won't have told a soul."

She still didn't look convinced and he slumped his shoulders. "You'd really be that worried about being seen with me?"

"N-no, of course not. I just....I don't want anyone watching us." She was rather pink-cheeked, and reached up to run a hand through her hair. "If I'm going to spend time with you I want it to be with _you_, not with half the crew watching to see what we do next. Does that make sense?"

"So you don't want anyone to know because you don't want to _share_ me?" Feeling a surge of affection (and ego) at her nod he wrapped her up in a hug so tight he knocked her hat off. "Oh. Sorry."

"Take it easy there," she scolded gently, though she was smiling. Bending down he retrieved the straw affair, brushing off the dust and adjusting the ribbon before placing it back on her head.

"Milady."

"Thank you. Very chivalrous."

He grinned. "I try." He held out his arm for her and she took it, the two of them beginning to walk down the street toward their destination. He'd asked the Director earlier that morning if there was anywhere close by he and his captain could go and spend some time together (he hadn't wanted to call it their 'first date' - that made it sound like they were teenagers) and she'd suggested the local park, offering to lend the younger woman some civilian clothes so she didn't feel so self-conscious.

_"I'm glad she's made her choice. She seems happier for it."_

And she did. He'd suspected that loyalty and love for the one who'd died had caused no small amount of guilt, and that had been a big part of why she'd kept her distance. But letting him in didn't mean letting the other guy go, and he'd never ask her to. _She has the biggest heart of anyone I've ever met. I think there's room enough in there for two._.

"Are you alright?" She'd noticed his lapse into silence, frowning slightly as she looked up at him. "It's not like you to be so quiet.."

"Sorry. I'm okay. Just thinking is all."

She nodded, leaning into him a little as they walked. She didn't ask what about, but then again she seemed to be deep in thought herself, lips pursed slightly. Eventually however she glanced up at him again. "How long would you have waited?"

"Hmm?"

She scuffed a sandalled toe on the pavement. "For me to decide. If Simmons-san - the Director - hadn't talked to me, how long would you have waited for me?"

Mwu smiled. "For as long as it took. I can be quite patient when I know the reward will be worth it."

"What if I'd decided not to risk it?"

"That would've hurt," he admitted, "but I'd have gotten over it. I wouldn't have pushed things."

"You'd really have done that?" At his nod she stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. "Thank you."

Feeling oddly lightheaded he rubbed at his nose. "You're welcome.."

He really could be quite sweet. She'd known he was interested in her - he'd never hidden it that well - but he'd always been careful not to make her uncomfortable, breaking any tension with jokes or silly stories. _If I hadn't chosen him he'd still have been my friend. That means a lot._ Letting go of his arm she instead took his hand, lacing their fingers together and grinning at his look of surprise. "So where are we going?"

"The Director lady said the park was a good place to go. She said lots of people go there on.." He actually blushed just a little bit, running a hand through rumpled blonde hair, and she stifled a giggle.

"On their first date?"

He made a face. "That makes us sound like kids."

"It's not that bad. You don't mind it, do you?"

"Course I don't mind. Been a long time since I dated anyone though. Think the last time was probably in high school."

"Not since high school? How come?"

"Don't know." He shrugged. "Never found the right girl, I suppose. Though I think I might have now."

Murrue smiled and squeezed his hand. She certainly hadn't expected him to be this bashful. _But then again, how much do I really know about him? I don't even know where he's from... _And he didn't know much about her either - not the best grounds for any kind of relationship. So today she'd tell him about herself. About where she came from, why she was there, and hopefully find out the same about him. After they'd enjoyed their date, that is. The park was just up ahead, trees and flowerbeds visible through iron railings - it looked beautiful. Her companion whistled softly. "Nice.."

"Where do you want to go first?"

"You decide. We can go see the flowers, or the lake, or get some ice-cream.."

"Flowers." She hadn't been surprised he'd mention ice-cream....he did eat rather a lot. But he and his stomach could wait. "Flowers, then we can eat."

"I'll buy you a hot dog."

It felt a little strange. They were soldiers, the senior officers of a ship that only a handful of people knew was actually here, and probably any day now the Alliance would turn up and the inevitable battle would begin. And here they were.....on a date. When she thought about it, it seemed really irresponsible. And yet.. Stretching out, she glanced down at him. After their exploration of the park's flowerbeds they'd bought lunch at the tiny kiosk and sat under the trees at the lakeside to eat it. Right here, right now, everything was peaceful - maybe too peaceful, given that he looked half-asleep.

"Too many hot dogs."

The Commander opened one eye. "Only had two."

"That isn't too many?"

"Not for me. I could have managed a couple more."

"Then why didn't you?"

A rueful grin. "I'd have looked a real pig. Not exactly the best impression."

"You don't have to try and make a good impression. Isn't it better that I see you for who you are?"

"But what if that made you change your mind?" The note of worry in his voice made her smile, and she leaned down to kiss his cheek.

"It wouldn't."

"Promise?"

"I promise." Sweeping together the paper wrappers from their lunch she laid down on the grass beside him, raising a hand to block out the sunlight filtering through the leaves of the trees. A warmth in her other hand made her smile, and she glanced down to see that he'd taken it in his. "I haven't done this in a while.."

"Been on a date or eaten two hot dogs in a row?"

She laughed. "Both. Or held hands with someone. I'd forgotten how nice it feels."

"It does feel nice." Bringing her hand close he kissed the fingers. "I think I could get used to it."

"You didn't hold hands with your last date?"

He shrugged. "Don't remember. It was at least ten years ago. There were girls at the Academy but they weren't really what you'd call 'dates'. Tried not to get too close." At her frown he smiled a little. "Pilot, remember? Easier on both them and us if there's some distance - then it wouldn't have hurt them so much if anything happened.."

"Then why did you.."

"Living like that might be safer, but it's lonelier. You know that as well as I do. And sometimes you just can't help falling for someone. Some risks are worth taking, remember?"

Murrue smiled. She remembered. He was worried for the same reasons I was. Afraid of being hurt... "Thank you."

He grinned rather shyly. "No problem. What about _you_? Were you popular?"

"I was a bit of a nerd," she admitted, to his amused disbelief. "Really. I loved science, so I wasn't really part of the in-crowd."

"I bet you were beautiful, though. Just like you are now."

Her heart skipped a beat. "Y-you think so?"

"Course I do. That's the first thing I noticed when I met you." She must have looked surprised (and embarrassed) as he smiled and squeezed her hand. "You didn't think you were? I bet others have told you."

They have, but.. Feeling as though her face were on fire she sighed, staring up at the canopy of trees. Her heart was racing. Compliments she'd received several of, but few that had caused her to react this way - not uncomfortable in any way, but sort of giddy and lightheaded. Taking a deep breath she glanced back at him, managing a little smile. "They have, but it matters more when someone you like tells you.." She scrubbed at her nose. "And that made me sound like a kid."

The blonde man chuckled. "But you said you liked me. That means a lot, however you said it."

"Good to know." Sitting up Murrue stretched out with a sigh - only to laugh when he used the hand he still held to tug her down closer to him. He was trying not to laugh but doing a bad job, handsome face alight with mischief which only grew when she poked him in the nose. "We can't stay here all day."

"You don't mind though, do you? You just pretend to."

"M'not even doing a very good job of pretending to."

"Never mind." He wound an arm around her waist. "It's not so bad here. Plus if we stay here we don't have to go out in the sun."

"You don't like the sun?"

"I like it well enough, but I'm not used to it being this hot. Got some badass storms and winters where I grew up."

"Oh? Where was that?"

"Massachusetts. Ain't seen nothing till you've seen an east coast storm."

Not where she'd pictured him coming from, but it was still nice to learn something about him. She'd visited relatives along that coast when she was younger, and still remembered the beauty and grandeur of some of the houses there. He probably hadn't lived anywhere like that though - he was far too down-to-earth. "Did you get a lot of snow?"

"Tons." he replied cheerfully. "Every year."

"Lucky.."

"It got annoying after a while. Didn't you get snow where you grew up?"

She wrinkled her nose. "Just rain, and fog. I used to ask my mom every winter when it'd snow, and she always told me San Francisco was in the wrong place to get snow. I still hoped, though."

"Ah, I see. We'll have to go see some, then. I bet the mountains here get some."

"I don't think we'll get chance to go there. It'd be nice, though."

He nodded. "I'll buy you a snowcone then. C'mon." Getting up he helped her to her feet, smiling when she threaded her fingers through his again. "It'll make going out in the sun worth it."

* * *

_I think this is the best day I ever had._

They'd spent hours in the park, walking and chatting, and gradually they'd come to know each other better. He'd learned about her home and family, what had made her want to join the military and whether she'd enjoyed it. _I could tell when I met her that she wasn't a typical soldier, and I was right._ She'd admitted she'd been part of the reserves, and had spent most of her time teaching engineering at an Alliance base not far from home until she'd been called up to work on Archangel and it's mobile suits. And he was glad. Glad that she'd had an ordinary life, glad that she hadn't been in the midst of the fighting....glad that he'd met her.

"What about you? Why did you join up?"

"Pretty boring growing up, and there weren't many prospects. Flying was something I was good at, something I enjoyed, so I joined up as soon as I was old enough." Not the whole story, but that was something he'd never told anyone. It wasn't that he didn't trust her - exactly the opposite - but she didn't deserve to have all that unloaded on her. _If I told her I think she'd be sad. I don't want her to be unhappy because of me._ "And I turned out to be pretty good at it."

She smiled and nodded, nibbling at the chocolate cone he'd bought her. Having eaten his own minutes after he'd bought it he now found hers tempting, and was debating on stealing a taste, but the look she shot him made him wonder whether she didn't know exactly what he was thinking.

"You already ate yours."

Mwu assumed his best innocent expression. "What?"

"You're not having any of this. If you wanted more you should have gone back and bought another one."

"Aww..."

"Pouting won't work."

"No, probably not." Unwilling to give up but knowing she'd never let him have any he instead decided to try a more roundabout approach, catching her free hand and tugging her close for a kiss. She managed a sort of surprised squeak (which was really cute), amber eyes wide, but didn't pull away, and after a few seconds she returned the kiss, one arm curling around his neck. He could taste chocolate, and her, and didn't notice he was getting a little carried away until she tapped him on the shoulder.

"Easy there.." She looked decidedly wobbly, her cheeks flushed pink. But she was smiling, and didn't even seem to realise she'd dropped her ice-cream. "That was.."

"Sorry." He wasn't really, and he didn't think she was either. Boy, I enjoyed that.

"So, where to now?" she asked once she'd recovered her composure. "Any ideas?"

"Just one." Still holding her hand he ran off, pulling her along behind him. He'd seen it earlier that afternoon and been hoping for a chance to take her there ever since. Back on the ship she was always so dignified, and while it didn't change how he felt about her it was fun to ruffle her feathers sometimes. She deserved to relax once in a while.

"Where are we going?"

"We're going there." He pointed ahead to an enclosed area filled with brightly-coloured objects and she sighed, shaking her head. Just as he'd expected.

"How old are you?"

"You're never too old to have fun. Don't fuss."

It was exactly what she'd expected. Though he was far too big for them he'd managed to wedge himself onto a swing and was now occupied with seeing just how high he could go (which wasn't very, given his size). He kept glancing over to where she sat on a bench, expression hopeful, and though she'd be lying if she said she wasn't tempted someone had to be the adult, so she stayed put. _Something else I didn't know about him..._ "Don't break it."

"M'not that heavy.."

"I didn't say you were. But those are made for children."

"You have to come play too." Sticking his legs out he brought himself to a stop and made his way over to where she sat. "C'mon. Just for a bit."

"What if someone sees us?"

"Then they'll see us having fun." Before she could say anything more he scooped her up in his arms and carried her across to sit on a swing. "Loosen up. No-one here knows you're a captain or even a soldier, so you don't have to act like it. Just act like someone on a date."

"Alright.." Slowly she began to swing back and forth, fingers curled around the chains as she gazed up at the sky. It had been a long time since she'd played on a swing..

"Bet I can go higher."

Murrue raised an eyebrow. "Is that right? I bet you can't."

And that was all it took.

* * *

"How come you can always do that?"

"Do what?"

"Make me act like a teenager."

He grinned. "My own unique charm." Aiming a lazy kick at the ground he sent the roundabout moving slowly, the movement causing a light breeze to ruffle their hair. It was getting pretty late, the sunlight fading to reveal the silver twinkle of the stars, and it was almost totally silent. It was beautiful.

"I hope they never come." She didn't have to say who 'they' were - he knew. Neither had mentioned it, but the thought of staying here permanently appealed to both of them.

"We can come back."

"You think so?"

He nodded. "We're fighting for these guys now. I'm sure they'd let us come back here."

"What if.."

"Murrue," he scolded softly, the use of her first name causing her to blush to her hairline, "quit it with the 'what if'. What happens, happens. You know that."

"I do know. It doesn't make me feel any better."

"Me either. But it's still true."

"What will you do?"

He shrugged. "What I can. Fly, protect the ship.....protect you."

"You can't even play on a slide without bruising yourself."

"Ah, they'll be gone in a couple of days. Anyway, I didn't fall off the see-saw."

"No fair bringing that up."

"We'll be okay." he announced cheerfully, leaning forward to kiss her lightly. "We'll fight 'em off if they come here, kick their asses in space or wherever we have to, and we'll come back here. Then who knows?"

She nodded and smiled. "Who knows."

Things wouldn't be that simple, of course, but he made her believe anything was possible.

_And maybe it is._

* * *

( blarg lol. Alrighty. Books mention Murrue's from California, although they don't say exactly where, but there's no mention of Mwu's home aside from a random entry of Canada on Wiki once. Massachusetts seems as good a place as any.

please read and review! )

Review this Story/Chapter


	5. Chapter 5

"Mwu-san?"

Standing at the window, his friend seemed to be lost in thought and didn't react at first. Kira smiled and moved forward to tap him on the shoulder, holding up hands in apology when the older man jumped violently. "Sorry, sorry. Are you okay?"

"Yeah." He sounded pretty listless, which was surprising - for the last few weeks, despite the ever-present threat from the Alliance, their eventual attack on Onogoro and Archangel's escape to space, his mood had been quite buoyant._ He has been dating Murrue-san, though._ So far, no-one else but Director Simmons had seemed to have noticed that the two senior officers were a lot closer now. They spent most of their off-duty time together, had gone to the park and beach in Orb several times (coming back pretty late at night), and it had obviously been good for them. But today..

"What's wrong?"

Mwu-san smiled slightly. "Nothing. M'okay."

"You don't look okay."

His friend shot him a look that said 'back off'. "I'm fine."

"How's Murrue-san?"

"She's alright."

Kira rolled his eyes. The pair of them were a perfect match - equally stubborn. "Whatever."

"What do you want, anyway?"

He sighed. "Nothing. I just noticed you didn't look too happy. Forget I said anything."

Mwu-san blinked, then palmed his face. "Sorry, kid. Just on edge."

"How come?"

"Lots of reasons. What happened back in Orb, where we can go so we'll be safe.."

"Haven't you talked to Murrue-san about them?"

"Sure I have. But.." He frowned slightly, rubbing at his nose with the palm of his hand. "She's acting weird." He didn't go into details, and Kira didn't ask. Both adults, although friendly and easy to talk to were very private people - he wouldn't necessarily notice if Murrue-san was 'acting weird'. Mwu-san, however..

"Is she working too hard?"

His friend grinned lopsidedly. "When is she not? I've talked to her, helped her out, but she's acting like we're strangers again. After all that time in Orb. One step forward, two steps back.."

"Do you love her?"

Mwu-san actually blushed just a little. "Now, I dunno about that.." Clearly embarrassed he glanced away, shuffling his feet nervously. "I....care about her," he admitted. "I care a lot about her."

Kira smiled. _That much is obvious. "_So she's avoiding you?"

"Not physically. More like....she's hiding herself."

"You should talk to her. There must be a good reason for it."

"Yeah.."

* * *

_She doesn't do anything without a good reason. Even if that reason doesn't make sense to anyone else. _Shaking his head with a fond smile he tapped in the code to the office and peeked in. She was there just like always, hard at work, though she shot him an absent smile as he sidled into the room. "Commander."

"Cap'n." He didn't say anything more and eventually she looked up, brows knitted in a slight frown.

"Can I help you at all?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing. You've barely said a word to me in a week."

"I've been busy." she replied evasively, gaze dropping back to her work.

"So have I. It doesn't stop me from talking." Realising he wasn't going to get a straight answer from her he leaned over her desk and kissed her. Only lightly, but it was enough to get her attention, and he almost smiled at her squeak of surprise. "That's better."

"I.." By now an endearing shade of pink she fiddled with her papers. "Jerk.."

"How'm I a jerk? All I did was kiss you, and you didn't mind that last time."

She huffed, but couldn't seem to find an answer for that. Instead she pouted slightly, resting her chin on her hands as she looked up at him. Mwu just grinned, flopping down in the chair opposite her. "It's okay."

"What's okay?"

"To be scared." She bridled at that, as he'd expected, and he held up his hands in an appeasing gesture. "Hear me out. I don't know the reasons behind it, but you're hiding yourself again. So I'm right, aren't I?"

She opened her mouth to deny it, then closed it again - she couldn't lie, not to herself and certainly not to him. She _was_ hiding. She clearly liked him still, given her blush when he'd kissed her, so her withdrawal confused him. "Was it something I did?"

"No. No, I.." She sighed, running a hand through her hair. "Dammit.."

"Did you change your mind?"

She glanced up sharply at that. "No. What I said, what I did - I meant that. I just...you've been busy with Strike, and.."

And he understood. "Because I'm piloting. Because we have to fight again." The Alliance's return had interrupted the peace they'd enjoyed for almost a month, interrupted the relationship they'd begun to form. Difficult to not resent them for it, difficult to not worry. _If something happened to Archangel I'd lose her, and if something happened to Strike she'd lose me. Hard to judge her for being scared. _"C'mere." Getting up he rounded the desk to where she sat and tugged on her hand to pull her up before wrapping her in a hug. "It's alright.."

She smiled a little and snuggled close, winding arms around him. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Like I said, it's okay to be scared."

"But I.." Wrinkling her nose she fell silent, instead closing her eyes. He knew how stubborn she was - even if she were terrified she'd never admit it. It was part of what made him so fond of her.

"I promise. I'll do my best to stay safe, but you know I can't guarantee it."

"I know." she murmured, voice muffled by his jacket. With a smile he ducked down to kiss the crown of her hair. To him, whether he came back or not had never been that big a deal. But to her, he mattered. He was important. So for her, he'd do his best to come back.

"Hey, Murrue?"

"Hmm?" What he could see of her face was bright pink - she hadn't given him permission to use her first name, but they had gotten quite close, and it was such a pretty name.

"You hungry?"

She giggled. "It's always about food with you."

"Not always.."

Murrue looked up with an affectionate smile. "It is. But that's alright. And I _am_ kind of hungry."

"Thought so. You've been holed up in here for hours. Work isn't as important as you are."

"I don't think many others agree with you." She gestured to the pile of papers on her desk. "They keep bringing them.."

"Then how 'bout you let me help you with them? Surely there's some that I can sign off?"

"You'd really do that?"

"Course I would. It'll make things easier and besides," He pecked a kiss to the tip of her nose. "It'd mean I get to spend more time with you."

She huffed again, but did look pleased. "Idiot."

"Who's an idiot? Don't touch that work 'till I get back with the food." With a ruffle to her hair he vanished out the door, whistling cheerfully as he made his way down the corridor.

She watched him go with a smile. Five minutes here and he'd been able to make her feel better than she had all week. Avoiding him (she had been avoiding him) had hurt, she missing his kindness and sunny good humour. _I'd almost forgotten he was a pilot...then..._ His fatigue after the battle at Orb, their escape to space, Cagalli-san's anguish at the death of her father.. I remembered we were at war. Remembered what he did....and I got scared. She'd tried to isolate herself again, but it hadn't been as easy this time. Even telling herself what happened to pilots hadn't helped - she'd just remembered how hurt he'd looked when she'd buried herself in work and barely spoken to him. He didn't deserve that. _Whether he's a pilot or not it doesn't change the fact that he's a good person, or the fact that I like him.. _Like him she did, maybe a little too much given the way her heart skipped a beat when he smiled at her, or the rush of giddiness she got when he used her first name.

"I already decided back in Orb that he was a risk worth taking," she told herself. "And he is."

Wandering back to her desk she picked up a novel and curled up on the sofa with it, glancing back at the door every so often with growing anticipation at his return - and not just because she was hungry.

He eventually reappeared about ten minutes later, balancing several bowls on a small tray with extraordinary dexterity. "Sorry I took so long. They weren't going to let me take it until I told them it was for you. And then they made me promise to bring the dishes back..." Setting the tray down carefully on her desk he placed a bowl of what looked like stew on her lap and handed her a spoon. "There we go."

"Thank you." Aware of his gaze she felt herself blushing a little, but picked up the spoon and began to eat. She couldn't remember how long it had been since she'd eaten and the stew, made from chicken and vegetables, was delicious. To his evident amusement she ate quite quickly, sinking back against the sofa with a contented sigh when she'd done. "That was good."

"You were starving," he scolded gently. "When did you last eat?"

"Don't know.."

"Idiot. You'll make yourself ill."

Murrue smiled. "You sound like you'd be mad."

"I would be kinda. But if you did get sick I'd look after you."

"I have it on record that I'm a really bad patient."

He chuckled, scraping up the last of his stew. "Bet I could get you to behave."

She grinned, knowing he was flirting with her and enjoying it immensely. "Is that right? Should I ask how?"

His answer was to lean forward and kiss her. She responded happily, closing her eyes as he wound a hand in her hair, and when they broke apart she was surprised but not alarmed to find herself almost on his lap. "You're good at that."

The Commander laughed, tugging her the rest of the way onto his lap and hugging her tight. "You're pretty good yourself."

"Why, thank you." Stretching out she leaned back against him, smiling when he nuzzled more kisses to her neck and cheek. "I'm sorry for avoiding you."

"Don't be. Wanting to protect yourself is natural."

"And selfish."

"C'mon," He poked her in the ribs. "Don't be so tough on yourself. Things are sorted now, aren't they?"

"Yeah.."

"Did you miss me?"

"Mmm-hmm. A bit."

"Only a bit?" He sounded disappointed, deep voice almost a whine. "You're so mean.."

Taking his hands Murrue squeezed them gently. "I missed you a lot. More than I thought I would."

"I should have gotten mad at you earlier then."

"You were mad at me?"

"Well," he amended, "not mad as such. Confused, maybe. And disappointed. We'd spent all that time together back in Orb, but you were acting like it had never happened, or that you were sorry that it had."

"I was happy it did. I hadn't realised how lonely I'd been."

"Me either. I don't want to feel like that again." He rested his chin on her shoulder. "Think we can make this work?"

"I think that we can."

They'd already begun.

* * *

( Shorter than the last couple, but it worked out ok I think.

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	6. Chapter 6

He'd noticed. Of course he'd noticed. Why wouldn't he? He always managed to see things she didn't want him to. He was sitting there in the chair across from where she was working, expression halfway between annoyance and concern, and while she did appreciate that she also found it irritating. Rubbing at her eyes with her free hand she glared at him. "Stop hovering."

"I will when you stop working."

"It won't do itself."

"Haven't I already offered to help you?"

"You do enough." Which was true. For someone who'd previously done all he could to escape paperwork, leading to scoldings from both her and Natarle, he'd readily volunteered to take on a chunk of her reports in exchange for more time spent with her, and she'd seen no problem with that - except when he was like this. "For heaven's sake, Mwu. The more I do now, the less I'll have to do later, right?"

He was unmoved. "That excuse only works when you're not sick."

"M'not sick. I just have headache."

"And a fever. And you're tired. And if you carry on like that you're going to make it worse."

She scowled, rubbing her eyes again before refocusing on her work. He was right, of course, she probably was sick, but she hated the thought of lying there doing nothing. Not when she had all this work. Signing her name to a few more documents she glanced up in surprise when she felt a kiss to the crown of her hair.

"Stubborn," he teased gently. "I have a lot to put up with, don't I?" Before she could think of a suitable answer for that he rounded the desk and actually lifted her out of her chair, laughing at her startled squeak. "C'mon you. Time for some rest."

Murrue huffed. "I.."

"You're burning up." He touched his forehead to hers, his closeness causing her face to feel even hotter. "Work can wait a while." Carrying her over to the tiny bunk he sat down with her on his lap, easily keeping her still while he removed her boots, then settled her in bed and tucked the blankets round her. "Now stay put."

"But.."

He sighed and shook his head, regarding her with real affection. "Just for a nap, okay? I'll wake you up in a couple of hours."

"Promise?"

"Cross my heart."

She nodded, making a show of reluctance but actually quite grateful - she hadn't realised how tired she was. Stretching out she yawned, crinkling her nose at his soft chuckle. He knew her better than she'd thought, but rather than making her nervous it was comforting and she smiled. "Thank you."

"No problem." Leaning close he kissed her lightly before getting up to leave....only to stop when she caught his hand. "What's wrong?"

"You don't have....to go just yet, do you?"

Mwu blinked, then smiled. "Not if you don't want me to." He perched on the side of the bed, climbing on further when she shuffled up to make room for him. He leaned back against the spare pillow - then let go a breath with a 'whuff' when she hugged him. If she had to stay in bed, then it might not be so bad if he could stay here with her. He was warm, and smelled good, and she snuggled close happily, smiling at the low rumble of laughter she felt rather than heard. He didn't say anything more, just rested a hand at the small of her back and rubbed gently, using his other to stroke her hair.

"That feels nice.." she murmured, drowsy now. "Thank you..."

He watched with a smile as she drifted off to sleep. When he'd first gotten here he'd been shocked and worried at how ill she'd looked - even paler than usual save for the feverish flush to her cheeks, and with dark circles under her eyes. But being typical Murrue she'd tried to work through it, trying to fight off what he thought she perceived as weakness. _But she was flagging, and I could tell. She needs someone to take care of her... _The rush of protectiveness he'd felt - still felt - had caught him off guard....he'd never felt that way about anyone before.

"What did you do to me?"

If she knew, she wasn't telling. Instead she smiled in her sleep, mumbling something he couldn't make out when he kissed the top of her head, and he grinned. What she'd done was provide companionship and affection, both things he hadn't had in years but had needed badly. So perhaps this relationship would be better for them than either had thought. "Kept thinking you were going to turn me down, though."

He hadn't been able to work out why he'd been so drawn to her. It was more than her beauty, more than her kindness - it was a combination of those things and many others. She was like no-one else he'd ever met....smart, capable and tough but also vulnerable. And, like him, she'd been lonely. _We won't be again though. Not if I can help it._ If things went the way he hoped they would, this relationship would last beyond the war. He couldn't imagine anything he'd like more. With another kiss to her hair he settled back into the pillows, and eventually dozed off.

* * *

"Mwu? Mwu, wake up.." He prised open blue eyes to see her looking down at him, pretty face pinched in irritation. "We overslept," she clarified.

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Well..." She glanced over at her desk, then back at him, and sighed, lips quirking. "I suppose not."

"Good. And you look a lot better." The dark circles had all but vanished, the flush gone from her cheeks until he brushed the tip of his thumb over her jawline. "Now you're all red again."

"Is it any wonder?" She grumbled but it was clear she was happy, as she settled back into his arms readily and stretched out with a yawn.

"Go back to sleep if you want."

"Nah." Propping herself up on his chest Murrue regarded him with a gentle (if still sleepy) smile. "I didn't think you'd still be here when I woke up.."

"Why wouldn't I have been?"

"Cause...well, I don't know.."

Mwu grinned, tweaking her nose. "You were so close I couldn't have moved even if I'd wanted to. It was nice though - I slept better than I have in a while."

"Me too.." She seemed to be thinking about something, dark eyes faraway for a moment. "Maybe we should try this more often? Not like...." She blushed, hiding her face in his jacket. "You know what I mean. Just sleeping."

Waking up in a morning to see her sleeping beside him? That sounded like fun. One thing, though.. "Does that mean cohabiting?"

Murrue blinked then smiled, pinking. "I don't know about that. I get the feeling that you're not very tidy."

He chuckled. "I'll be as tidy as you want me to be. I'll pick up after myself - even clean the bathroom if you tell me to. Does that sound like a good deal?"

"I guess. If you promise to not distract me."

"Now I can't promise that. If I think you've been working too hard then I'll kidnap you."

"Oh.." As he'd expected she didn't look too put out about this. Maybe she wanted to be kidnapped sometimes? _And who can blame her? She's a person before she's the captain, and she needs to be treated that way.._

"Can I come live here then?"

She crinkled her nose. "It wouldn't be too weird? What if we find out we're not suited after all?"

"We're better off finding that out sooner rather than later."

A small sigh, and she flopped down to rest her chin on his chest. "And if it doesn't work out?"

Mwu ruffled her hair. "I think it will. But if it doesn't, I go back to my own room and we see how we go from there."

She'd be lying if she said she wasn't tempted. Her original idea had involved them just spending the odd night together when they'd been working late, but the thought of them actually living in the same room was nice too - very nice. He was a pest sometimes, but also good-natured and gentle with a wry sense of humour. _I can't see how him being here would be a bad thing. He might drive me up the wall, but being in a relationship with someone is about learning what makes them who they are and accepting it. He's done that with me....isn't it only fair I do the same with him?_

"How about we give it a fortnight or so to see how it goes?"

He grinned and pulled her closer. "That sounds fine. It'll be fun."

"You won't be a pest?"

"Sure I will. But you can always make me sleep on the sofa if I am."

Murrue kissed the tip of his nose. "I'll hold you to that."

Fun it would be, perhaps more than she thought. They'd have to wait and see.

* * *

( mwahahahahaha XD chocolate truffles, tea and cream crackers. Not at the same time, though.

please read and review! )


	7. Chapter 7

_Well, this is a new kind of awkward._

They'd talked about this 'cohabitation' thing for a while before actually trying it, he keeping some clothes and most of his junk in his own room so as not to clutter hers and in case things didn't work out. They'd discussed the idea at some length over coffee, at her desk, on the sofa and sitting on her bed, and despite their combined shyness they'd agreed to give it a try. And it had been fun - until now.

_What do I say to her?_

Night had brought complications neither of them had considered - why, he wasn't sure - and right now he was staring very hard at his feet. He'd gotten ready for bed while she'd been in the bathroom, stripping down into vest and shorts while waiting for her. Nothing wrong with that, right? But when she'd come back into the room she'd blushed, twisting thin fingers together and hiding her face behind a curtain of auburn hair. And he'd stared. Like him, she was in standard-issue vest and shorts.....that did nothing to hide her figure, least of all stunning legs. The times they'd gone out in Orb she'd worn jeans or a long skirt, pretty and dignified like a female officer should be and she'd been beautiful. But now..

"Sorry."

"I-its okay.."

He risked a peek back up at her, running a hand through rumpled blonde hair. "I can go on the sofa, or back to my own room.."

"N-no.." Though still blushing something fierce she made her way over and perched on the side of the bed beside him, glancing sideways at him through her eyelashes and smiling a little. Somewhat encouraged he placed a hand over hers and squeezed gently, watching her a while, taking in the little things he hadn't seen before. Her face was washed free of the small amount of makeup she usually wore, the skin over the just-healed bullet scar on her right shoulder was still red and shiny, and, to his surprise, her toenails were painted a light pink. She noticed him looking and shrugged with another small smile. "No-one sees them. S'only against the rules if people know about it."

"It's cute."

Murrue blushed. "How is it cute?"

"Cause it's so unexpected. And you have nice feet." Hopping off the bed he took one of them in a hand, grinning when it fit neatly into his palm, and kissed her toes. She blinked, evidently surprised herself, but didn't complain, even laughing when he kissed his way up to her knees. Laughing himself he rested his chin on those knees, closing his eyes when she ran thin fingers through his hair. "I like this."

"So do I." Leaning forward she kissed the crown of his hair, managing a muffled squeak when he caught her chin and kissed her properly, taking his time to explore her mouth. He felt her arms curl around his neck to bring him (or herself, he wasn't sure) closer, smelled the scent of flowers, heard a little sigh of contentment, and opened his eyes a little to see hers were closed, cheeks flushed pink. When they broke for air she smiled, the expression one of real affection, and when he sat back on the bed she rested her head on his shoulder.

"C'mere."

"Hmm?"

He patted his lap. "I want to look at you some more."

She made a show of rolling her eyes but readily accepted, climbing up to face him. "You haven't looked at me enough already?"

"I don't think that's possible." He kissed her forehead, then the tip of her nose before catching her lips briefly and working downwards to her jawline and neck. She murmured something questioning before it drifted off into a happy sound as he continued his kisses, then grumbled when he pulled away.

"Already?"

Mwu chuckled, brushing a hand through her hair. "Cap'n wants more attention, huh?"

She nodded and kissed him, dark eyes fluttering closed when he slid a hand under her vest and stroked her back. Breaking the kiss he moved downwards to her neck again, tasting her skin until a little cry snapped him back to reality. She was bright red, eyes wide and he mentally kicked himself. _Got carried away. First night in the same room and I act like a dumb teenager._

"M'sorry. I.."

Murrue shook her head, partly to reassure him and partly to clear it of the haze she'd been in. "It's alright. I.." _Wow.. _Unexpected, both that this had gotten so serious so quickly and that she'd thoroughly enjoyed it. _If we hadn't stopped, how far would it have gone? And would I have minded? _He looked so embarrassed with himself, the expression only changing slightly when she ran a finger down his cheek, and she couldn't help smiling fondly. "It's alright. Really."

"But you....I mean, him, and.... dammit."

"You've nothing to be sorry for. I let it happen."

"Didn't want to rush you."

She kissed him gently. "You didn't."

Mwu managed a half-hearted smile at that. "Now what do we do? Try and get some sleep?"

"I think sleep might be a long time coming." The feelings he'd stirred up were still very much evident, a whole flotilla of butterflies in her stomach - she doubted they'd go away any time soon.

"I think so too." He laughed, shaking his head. "Unless I take a cold shower, and I hate those. Guess we try sleeping it off."

"There_ is _another option."

"Which is?"

She smiled. "I don't remember telling you to stop."

He blinked, then grinned. "That's true. Shall we see if we can pick up where we left off?"

"Sounds good to me."

His grin became unmistakeably seductive, sending a little shiver through her, and he leaned back to flick off the lamp but she caught his hand, shaking her head before shuffling closer. He seemed to understand, ducking his head to retrace the path of his earlier kisses and she smiled, closing her eyes as the attention sent the butterflies whirling again. This time he didn't hesitate, even as a return to the same spot as earlier caused her to gasp involuntarily. She reached to remove the vest but this time _he_ caught _her_ hand, kissing the palm before ducking back down, and pretty soon she forgot everything else entirely.

"Murrue?"

"Hmm?" Blinking hazily she managed to focus on his face. "What is it?"

"What happens now? I mean, this is only going one place.." He gestured to his lap with a sheepish smile. "You sure this is okay?"

"I already said it was.."

He smiled at her probably dazed-sounding reply, brushing hair from her face gently. "I know you did. But we don't have...I mean..."

"Don't worry about that. It's alright." Irresponsible she wasn't - she wouldn't have even let him get close without being sure of some things.

Mwu nodded, kissing her forehead then lifting her up a little, nuzzling more kisses through the thin fabric of her vest. Vaguely she was aware of him talking, more fabric against her skin, but just for a second, and after that....well, if he said anything else she didn't remember it.

* * *

If she was cute when she was sleeping, then drowsy was downright adorable. Her eyes were open just a fraction, cheeks still flushed, and she was smiling, probably with contentment and satisfaction much like himself. Though what had happened had been unexpected he doubted he'd ever regret anything except not dating her sooner. Stifling a yawn he settled down beside her, smile growing when she cuddled close with a happy sigh.

"...time's it?"

"No idea. Probably late." He brushed a hand down her back through the vest she still wore, chuckling as she murmured something incoherent.

"Next time it'll be better."

Soft laughter. "Will it?"

"Oh yeah. We could wait till we both have a day off and make a night of it."

"Sounds like fun.."

"Doesn't it?" Settling down into the pillows he kissed the crown of her hair, tucking the covers around her. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Deciding I was worth the risk. Tonight, all of it."

Murrue smiled. He was worth it, all right. She'd tried keeping her distance but he was someone you just couldn't ignore, and eventually she'd let him catch her. _Not that I ran too hard. Maybe I wanted him to catch me. And I'm glad he did._

"Yeah, you're worth it."

* * *

( ninja smut. Ninja and possibly OOC lol.

please read and review! )


	8. Chapter 8

1He was late. Again. His shift had ended over an hour ago and she was still waiting, curled up on her - their - bed with a novel and glancing up at the door every two minutes. The thought of going looking for him was tempting, but he was most likely in the hangar bay, which even this late at night would still be filled with technicians, and she had no desire to be the latest gossip subject. So she'd wait. The idea made her smile both fondly and a little ruefully. Normally this time of night she'd still be working, going over the daily reports from all sections and reading those the captains of _Eternal _and _Kusanagi_ had sent over, but she knew she wouldn't be able to focus on it, looking forward to his return with a mixture of anticipation and excitement. _And irritation that he took so damn long about it. _Probably not the way a captain should behave, but then he had a way of making her forget all that.

And eventually, another half-hour later, the door slid open and he sidled in with an apologetic smile. "Hey.."

"You're late."

His face fell, and she had to fight hard to keep from laughing. "M'sorry.." he murmured. "Was working on Strike."

"Yes, I thought you might be."

He winced, scuffing his feet on the carpet tiles. "Didn't mean to lose track of time. I just....it's important."

"I know. But.."

Mwu smiled a little, moving to sit on the end of the bed. "I want to get it working for me as well as I can. Back in Orb the pedals were kinda stiff, and I don't want that to happen again. Not if I'm going to keep this ship safe."

She shuffled over to sit beside him, offering a reassuring smile. "I'd prefer you to keep _yourself_ safe."

Another half-smile. "No-one ever said that before."

"Well, now someone has. And I mean it."

He brought her close for a hug, chin resting on the top of her head. "I know you do. And if I can keep myself safe, then I will. Promise."

"But?"

A soft laugh. "But if I have to make a choice, it'll always be you."

Murrue sighed. "That doesn't make me feel any better."

"Doesn't it?"

She shook her head. "If you try to protect me and something happens to you, how do you think that would make me feel?"

He hugged her a little tighter. "And if I couldn't, and if something happened to _you_...."

"We'd both blame ourselves. Feel guilty that we survived but the other didn't. It's a horrible feeling."

"Is that how you felt?"

She nodded. _It took me a long time to stop thinking that way, and there are still moments when I think about what he would have done, what he would have said, and it all comes back. _"It's hard to let go of."

"Yes, it is." Mwu's voice was quiet, thoughtful, and she glanced up in curiosity. He was sitting quite still and staring at his knees, expression unreadable.

"Mwu?"

He quirked a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Sorry. M'okay."

"I see." He wasn't okay and they both knew it, but she wasn't about to push things. Instead she stretched out and flopped backward onto the bed, wiggling her toes, and eventually he smiled properly, shuffling up to join her.

"Not been very good company tonight, have I?"

"Not really," she replied, not able to hide her grin at his puppy-dog expression. "But I'll forgive you on one condition."

"Which is?"

"I know getting Strike just right is important, but I'm sure it won't mind sharing you."

He laughed, ruffling her hair. "Girlfriend before mobile suit. No problem."

Embarrassed (but pleased) she sat up and began to fluff the pillows. He'd never referred to her as his 'girlfriend' before, even though they'd been dating (and more than dating) for almost two months. It felt a bit strange, but also comforting.

"You're blushing."

She huffed, fighting hard to keep the smile from her face. "No, I'm not."

"You are." The bed shifted as he moved closer, an arm winding around her waist. "And it's cute."

"Cute?" She wrinkled her nose. "That's not very flattering."

He kissed her cheek and settled his chin on her shoulder, tracing circles on her stomach. "You don't like being cute?"

"Mmm.."

"See? I'm changing your mind."

"You're cheating..."

"I am, aren't I?" he replied cheerfully. "Were you blushing 'cause I called you my girlfriend?"

She nodded.

"You don't like that?"

"I _do_ like it. That's why I was blushing."

"Good." He scooped her up to sit her on his lap, kissing the tip of her nose. "I promise I won't make you wait again, okay? And if I do, you have to come get me."

"I will. Maybe I could help you."

He beamed. "That'd be fun."

* * *

He looked pretty happy. He leaned against the wall of the observation deck gazing out at the dock, his entire posture speaking of contentment, even relaxation - unusual given what was going on outside the abandoned colony.

"Not getting too comfortable, are we?"

He smiled (slightly ruefully she thought). "Murrue said you were on board."

Erica raised an eyebrow. "Murrue, is it?"

He coughed nervously. "The cap'n, I mean."

_First-name terms. Not that I'm surprised. _She'd heard rumours - in a fleet this small gossip spread like wildfire - and unknowingly he'd confirmed them for her. Leaning against the wall she watched him a while, smiling as he grew increasingly nervous. _He's like a big kid, isn't he?_

"Quit watching me. It feels like I'm back at the Academy."

"Were you this fidgety then?"

He nodded.

"Can't say I'm surprised. Anyway, how are things going with you and your captain?"

"Oh, you know." He scuffed the toe of his boot on the floor. "Pretty well."

Erica shook her head. _He __**is**__ a big kid. Acting like a teenager.. _"That good, huh?"

He wrinkled his nose, but said nothing more. Not that he had to. His earlier smile, his nervousness when questioned, his casual use of his captain's first name....the relationship was clearly going well.

"She busy?"

La Fllaga smiled. "Working too hard like always."

"I take it you've tried telling her."

"Oh yeah." He chuckled softly. "Things are quiet right now - she could take a break, but instead she decides to catch up on paperwork. And she shoos me away." The image of the captain 'shooing' away a grown man twice her size was so funny Erica had to bite her lip. He himself didn't appear at all put out by it, which was somehow even funnier, and also kind of touching.

"You don't mind?"

He grinned brightly. "Nah. If she's busy I'll leave her for a couple of hours. You can go visit her though, if you're feeling brave."

"Maybe I will. Be interesting to see whether I get any more out of her."

"Good luck with that."

He stayed there for a while after she'd gone, watching _Kusanagi_'s mobile suits (Astrays, wasn't it?) move supplies across to the new ship that had shown up here the other day. He'd been out there in Strike a few times doing that, getting a feel for the suit and how it worked, though he'd been careful not to talk too much about it to Murrue. She seemed to like to hear about his day, curled up close with her chin resting on his chest, but her smile would always fade just a little if he mentioned Strike or working on it - so he never mentioned it. _He was a pilot too....the other guy she was with. Makes sense she wouldn't want to be reminded of it. _So he left that part of himself down in the hangar bay, or tried to. Not that he minded...it was nice to be himself for a change, and he was sure she understood.

_Never thought about that before, but it's right. We can be ourselves with each other. Even if... _He sighed. Even if she didn't know everything about him. He wanted to tell her - she deserved to know - but was afraid to. Afraid that she'd think less of him. It was dumb, but he couldn't help it. He'd never told anyone before, never let himself get close enough to anyone to even think about it, and now that he had, it scared him kinda.

"All the same, I should tell her, right?"

_Easier said than done. _Running a hand through rumpled blonde hair he stretched out with a sigh, making his way back to their room.

She was there, still hunched over her desk, mug of coffee sitting cold and untouched, and didn't even look up when he walked in. Shaking his head in fond exasperation he tiptoed over and began to rub her back gently. Murrue murmured something he couldn't make out, wriggling a little to try and escape but he held firm, continuing the attention until she relaxed, setting down her pen and resting her head on her arms.

"That's my girl."

"Nn."

He chuckled, leaning over to kiss the crown of her hair. "Time to stop working."

"Tisn't.."

"Yes it is. C'mon." Mwu bent and lifted her out of the chair, carrying her over to the bed and sitting down with her in his lap. She was smiling despite her grumbles, and clearly tired, nuzzling close to rest her head on his shoulder. "Been working hard, huh?"

"Mmm..."

"Good job I showed up then."

She laughed, the sound becoming a yawn halfway through. Though her eyes were still half-open she was practically asleep, barely seeming to notice him removing her boots, but she did grumble when he tried to put her in bed, hand curling around his jacket.

"Ah, I stay here. No problem."

She smiled. "Murrue?"

"Hmm?"

He chuckled, shaking his head. "Nothing. It's okay."

* * *

( Random chapter to set ze sceeeene.

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	9. Chapter 9

She was worried about him.

Standing at the entrance to sickbay she watched him a while, just able to make out the steady rise and fall of his chest in the dim light from the corridor. He'd been sleeping a long time, the pain and fatigue caused by his injuries finally catching up with him, but those sorts of wounds would heal given time. What she was more worried about were the injuries that weren't visible. _That look on his face...I'd see it in odd moments when he didn't know I was watching. I didn't understand it then, but... _He'd learned or realised something in Mendel that had affected him badly, his normal sunny nature eclipsed by sadness and a bitterness that scared her.

_"My father was arrogant, demanding and untrustworthy. He died when I was just a kid...that's all I can remember about him."_

He'd never mentioned his family - in fact, neither of them had spoken of their past, focusing instead on the here and now. Looking back, she supposed it was an insurance of sorts. Keep some things to yourself, keep your guard up. Don't get too close. It was the sensible option, but not always the right one.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" His voice surprised him - she'd been sure he was asleep. He sounded tired, as well might be expected, as well as irritated. Murrue smiled a little.

"For a lot of things. But mostly for waking you."

"You didn't. I wasn't asleep."

"I see. Well, I'll leave you be. Goodnight."

"Why were you watching me?"

Her smile grew. "Don't _you_ watch _me_ when I'm sleeping?"

He was quiet for a moment. "Do you feel sorry for me?"

She frowned slightly at the strange question. "I'm worried about you."

"You don't need to be. I'm fine."

"Mwu.."

"Don't call me that." The clipped answer took her by surprise - she remembered his smile when she'd first used his name, remembered his hug had almost squeezed the breath from her, so why..

"Alright, I won't." Aware that her voice was as terse as his own she bit her lip. "Anything else?"

"You can leave me alone."

"Right." Pressing the control to close the door she leaned against the outside wall, dark eyes screwed shut against threatening tears. _I won't cry. Not because of this. Not because of him. _Scrubbing at her eyes with the sleeve of her jacket she pushed off from the wall, intending to make it back to her own room before anyone noticed....but something pulled her back. Glancing down in surprise she saw a hand holding hers.

"Don't go."

"Why not?" She looked away. "You asked me to, didn't you?"

"I didn't mean it." He was half-leaning on the doorframe, pale from his exertion and the pain it must have caused, and annoyingly (but not surprisingly) she felt sympathy overriding sadness. He managed a little smile. "I'm sorry."

Murrue turned back slightly, closing her eyes when he brushed away a tear she hadn't noticed. She wasn't about to make excuses for him - if he wanted to explain things he had to do it without any prompting from her. He rubbed his nose, a little of the Mwu she knew re-emerging with the boyish gesture.

"I'll tell you," he offered quietly. "Can you help me back inside?"

Slipping an arm around his back she steered him back into sickbay, thankful for the zero gravity, and tucked the covers around him, sitting on the chair beside his bed.

"I've been a jerk."

"Yes, you have."

He quirked a grin. "Direct as always."

"It's true, isn't it?"

"Well yeah, but.." He chuckled, wincing a little as the movement pulled at healing skin. "You never _have_ made things easy for me."

"Would you want me to?"

"No. Things wouldn't be half as much fun." Settling back against the pillows he stared at the opposite wall, expression a study in blankness, before he sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. "I never told anyone before...but I wanted to tell _you_. I just didn't know how you'd react."

Murrue frowned. "Why?"

"Cause.." He smiled a little. "Cause it's dumb."

"Do you really think I'd think so?"

"No, I don't. But _I_ do."

"Try me."

He cleared his throat, blue eyes fixed on the featureless metal ceiling. "I told you I grew up in Massachusetts, right?"

Murrue nodded, and he handed her the blue-bound photograph album he'd brought back from Mendel. It was open about a third of the way through, showing a man she knew to be Mwu's father along with a young boy she'd assumed was Mwu himself. But..

"This is.."

"That's him. Klueze. The house in the background is where I lived till I was ten."

House wasn't the right word. More like _mansion_. Mwu was so down-to-earth she'd assumed he'd grown up in a regular house and neighbourhood like she had, but.. "It's beautiful."

He smiled a little. "I guess it was."

"Did he live there too?"

"I don't know. I suppose he did, but I only saw him once when I was about nine or ten."

"Who was he? Where did he come from?"

"Dad said that he was his son, but that he wasn't my brother. I didn't understand it back then, but if he really is a clone, then it makes sense."

"Why would your father have himself cloned? How?"

"The 'why' is 'cause he thought I wasn't enough like him. That his genes had been diluted by Mom. The 'how' is here. At Mendel. Dad funded a scientist who was trying to create the perfect Coordinator, with the understanding that this guy would use what he'd learned to help Dad clone himself." He rubbed a hand over his face again. "Turns out this scientist was the kid's real father."

She blinked. "Kira-kun? He was that Coordinator?"

"Yeah, poor kid. Thinking about it that way, it doesn't feel too bad. I never saw Dad much, but at least I had my mom. To be told that you started out as a science experiment, and that your real parents were killed by Blue Cosmos.. he's had it way worse than me."

"Poor Kira-kun.." She flicked through the album, taking in the different pictures, and noticed it stopped halfway through. Confused, she glanced up, and he smiled slightly.

"They died. There was a fire - I never found out how it started - Mom went to find Dad and I tried to follow, but one of the maids caught me and took me outside. I thought Klueze had died too, but obviously he didn't."

"Do you think he started the fire?"

"Looking back, I think he probably did. Maybe he wanted to be something more than Dad's shadow. Guess I can't blame him for that." He sighed. "He calls me 'Mwu' too - I always hated that. Hearing you call me it reminded me. But the way you say it is different. I like it."

"I'm glad. And I'm glad you're not like either of them."

His smile became more genuine. "Thank you. I told myself it didn't matter what Dad thought, but still, all this time, all I've done.....I'm still trying to prove myself to him."

"You don't have to. Not to him, not to anyone." Leaning down she kissed him gently. "He might not have been proud of you, but _I_ am."

Mwu stared, then laughed a little, running a hand through his hair."T-thanks.."

"Don't be so hard on yourself. It's going to be all right now."

"You think so?"

She nodded, reaching to squeeze his hand. "Definitely."

* * *

No-one was in sight. Perfect. Adjusting the hospital pyjamas he ducked out of sickbay and set off down the corridor, thankful for the zero gravity. He'd been cooped up in there for a week and a half, and though he was still fairly sore he felt much better than he had, both inside and out. And that was thanks to her. _I never realised until she said it. All I'd wanted since I was a little kid was for my dad to tell me he was proud of me. That I'd done a good job. I knew that he'd never say it, but I always hoped. _But none of that really mattered now. It didn't matter what his dad thought, what Klueze or anyone else thought.... because Murrue was proud of him. He hadn't expected her to say it - they'd been together a couple of months now, but though they were close he'd never really thought about _how_ close. _I like it, though. I didn't expect to. Relationships in wartime or even when you're just a soldier are tricky things, and I never got close to anyone on principle. _

Reaching her room he keyed in the code as quietly as he could, sneaking inside. The room was dark, and silent save for soft breathing and he grinned. "But this time it was different."

He wasn't sure why. Floating across to the bed he sat down on the foot of it, watching her sleep. She was curled up under the blankets, dark hair spread out over the pillow, and she was smiling. Different she was, to everyone else he'd ever met or known. It had nothing to do with him being a pilot or even a famous one....in fact, that had caused her to keep her distance at first. No, he felt sure that, for whatever reason, she liked him for who he was - something no-one else had ever done.

"Thank you." Tugging back the covers as carefully as he could he slipped in beside her, inching sideways until he was close behind her. Murrue murmured something, looking back at him with sleepy brown eyes, then smiled again, shuffling back to let him cuddle close.

"Pest.."

"Not happy to see me?"

"You know I am. The doctor'll be mad at you, though."

"Starting to heal now and besides, I feel better here than I do there."

"I'm sure you do."

He chuckled. "Didn't you miss me?"

"Maybe I did," she conceded. "We'd better get some sleep."

"Do we have to?" He pressed little kisses to her neck and shoulder until she squirmed and giggled. "I haven't been completely alone with you in a fortnight."

"M'tired.." she half-heartedly protested, but made no move to escape. He grinned, kissing the back of her neck and letting his hands wander.

"Are you?"

"Jerk.."

"That's not an answer."

Her answer was to turn over and kiss him, eyes fluttering closed as his hands slid under her T-shirt. Encouraged by this he ducked under the blankets, a muffled laugh escaping as she gasped. They'd spent hours together like this since he'd moved in, learning every little thing about each other. He'd learned that she loved having his complete attention, something he was more than happy to give her, and judging by the little sigh when she sank back into the pillows it was definitely appreciated.

"You okay?"

She smiled rather dazedly, reaching out to stroke his hair when he rested his chin on her chest. "Mmm-hmm..."

"Can I ask you something?"

Another little smile. "Anything you want."

"You listened to me when I told you about my family, but I never asked _you_ about _yours_. Were you happy?"

"Yes, very. We didn't have much money, and Mom and Dad had to work pretty hard when I was a kid, but we lived in a nice neighbourhood and I had a lot of friends I still keep in touch with."

He smiled. "Sounds nice. What do they do?"

"They run a grocery store. They're hoping to retire at the end of the year. I send them half of my wage - well, I used to - even though they keep telling me not to. Dad's so stubborn.."

"That must be where you get it from."

She laughed. "Probably it is."

"You miss 'em, huh?"

"Yeah. I called them every week, but I haven't been able to since we left the Alliance. I daren't risk it."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" She frowned slightly. "It's not your fault. I was the one who decided to leave."

"For griping about my family when you were missing your own. It was selfish."

"You weren't to know. Don't worry." She poked his nose gently. "C'mon now, let's get some sleep."

"Yes, ma'am." Shuffling up he rested his head on the pillow beside hers, catching her lips in a kiss. She hadn't shown any sign that she was sad about not being able to talk to her parents, but he guessed that she probably was...she kept feelings like that bottled up very tightly. _I'd like to meet them. Her mom and dad. I wonder if there was a way to get in touch with them without alerting the Alliance? _

"You want to _what_?"

"Call San Francisco." He sighed at the Director and Kisaka's expressions. "There must be a way. Like bouncing signals off something so no-one knows exactly where they are." Knowing the Director had gotten pretty fond of his captain he appealed to her. "It's not for me. I wanted to give Murrue a chance to talk to her mom and dad. Probably most of the crew's families have been told the ship was blown up at Alaska."

"It wouldn't be easy, you know. You'd owe me."

He grinned. "I would. And I'd pay you back."

"I'll hold you to that, La Fllaga."

* * *

She could hear voices. Wrapping her hair in a towel she peeked out of the bathroom to see him sitting at her desk in front of the computer, his expression a mixture of curiosity and trepidation. Figuring he was talking to someone on one of the other ships she made as though to finish drying her hair but he glanced up and beckoned her over. "They want to talk to you."

"Mwu, I can't talk like this."

"Don't worry. They won't mind. C'mon."

Confused she moved to sit down when he stood up...and stared in astonishment. "How.."

_"Hello, sweetie. How have you been?"_

"Mom.." Bewildered but pleased she glanced up at Mwu, who just grinned. "Did _you_ do this?"

_"Your young man here has been introducing himself."_

"Has he really?"

He had the grace to look sheepish and tried to sidle away but she caught his hand. "Thank you."

"Thank the Director. She was the one who sorted it so you could talk."

"But you asked her for me, didn't you?"

He nodded.

"Thank you."

_"You two are together, aren't you? I thought as much."_

Murrue smiled, tracing the outline of her mother's face on the screen. "Is that alright?"

_"If it's alright with you, it's alright with me. As long as you're careful."_

"What about Dad?"

_"You let me worry about that. He'll probably growl a lot but he'll come round to the idea eventually."_

Mwu paled. "He that bad?"

"He _is_ quite protective. But no, not that bad." Murrue patted his arm. "Don't worry."

He nodded but still didn't look happy, handsome face downcast, and eventually wandered off into the bathroom. Murrue grinned fondly, shaking her head.

_"I've seen that look before."_

"Have you?"

_"Honey, I know you too well. You like him."_

She rubbed at her nose. "Kinda."

_"There's no 'kinda' about it. He tells me he's a pilot. Are you sure that's okay?"_

"I didn't really get to choose. It just sort of happened."

_"And if the same happens again?"_

"Twice burned, I guess. I'd get over it."

Her mother sighed but smiled. _"Just like you. He's a nice boy, though."_

"Yes, he is."

_"Can I ask him something?"_

"Sure. Mwu?" When he poked his head out of the other room she gestured to the screen. "Mom wants another word."

"Okay." He moved to stand behind her, resting a hand on her shoulder. "Hi."

Her mother smiled (impishly). _"Actually, this question is from my husband."_

Mwu shifted nervously, causing Murrue to hide a smile. "Yeah?"

_"Do you love Murrue?"_

He turned faintly pink, tugging at the collar of his jacket as though it were suddenly too tight, and scuffed his toe on the deck. "I...uh..." Murrue herself was similarly uncomfortable, not able to look either of them in the eye. She wanted to hear the answer but at the same time didn't...what if he said no?

"Yes."

"Eh?" She looked up in surprise, feeling her face grow hot. He looked embarrassed but pleased, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Never told anyone before.."

"Really? I mean, you really do?"

"Yeah."

Her mother beamed. _"I thought as much. I'm glad."_

"So am I."

* * *

"How do I repay you for that?"

"You don't." He ruffled her hair gently. "It was something I wanted to do."

"But.."

"If you want to repay someone, then it should be the Director. She had to pull a lot of strings so I could make the call. She already said I owe her."

"We can both owe her, then."

"If you want." He grinned. "I like your mom."

"She likes you too. She said you were a nice boy."

"Best compliment I've gotten in ages."

She raised an eyebrow.

"Well, maybe not _ages_. But it's still nice."

"It is."

"I meant it, you know? What I said?"

She nodded and smiled. "I know you did." Standing on her tiptoes she kissed the tip of his nose. "And thank you."

"Thank you? Is that all I get?"

"Did you want more?"

He pouted. "I confess when _your mom's_ there, but then you get all coy? That's not fair."

She pretended to be surprised. "Isn't it? I'm pretty sure I'm allowed to choose when I say it."

"Aww..."

"Don't sulk."

"M'not sulking."

She giggled. "Yes, you are. But it's cute."

"Cute? I'm _cute_? Is thar meant to be a compliment?"

"Welcome to my world."

* * *

( hehehehehe

please read and review! )


	10. Chapter 10

"I don't normally catch you alone these days."

She nodded absently and stayed focused on her work, only looking up when Simmons-san sat down in the chair opposite. She was smiling, though the expression seemed as equally mischievous as friendly. "So where is he?"

"Where is who?"

"La Fllaga. Every time I've seen you he's been somewhere around."

Murrue declined to answer. Most of her crew were the same, curious about the amount of time she and the blonde pilot spent together, but they'd been careful to not give them any ammunition - what they had and what they did was their business and theirs alone. _He tells me he doesn't care how many people know he loves me, and when it comes down to it neither do I, I suppose. But not here. _Tapping her papers together she leaned back in her chair. In a way. she'd expected this. With the war having been quiet for the last five or six weeks the crews of the three ships had started to relax a little, looking for ways to entertain themselves, and she suspected that there was quite a lot of chatter about shipboard romances.

"Everyone knows."

"Knows what?"

"About you two. No matter how well you try to hide it, some people are always going to notice."

"I don't see why they should have to."

Simmons-san grinned. "No need to get all defensive. No-one's judging you. Didn't I say you had to take happiness where you found it?"

"Well, yes, but.." She sighed. "I'd rather people didn't gossip."

"Human nature. And you know, no-one I've heard talking about it has a problem with it."

"That's not the point."

"Don't worry so much. Gossip's only that."

Murrue crinkled her nose but nodded. "You're right, I know." It wasn't as though she could prevent it - any effort on her part to deny their relationship would only increase the gossip and hurt Mwu....and he'd been hurt enough. "You don't strike me as a gossipmonger."

"I'm not. I just listen. And I came here because I thought La Fllaga would be hanging around. He owes me one."

"So do I."

Simmons-san held up a hand. "Whoa there. You don't owe me anything. To you, it was a favour."

"But not to him?"

She laughed. "It's fun watching him squirm. Were you able to talk to your family okay?"

"Oh yes. Thank you."

"Thank him, not me. It was his idea. He was very insistent that we try everything, no matter how long it'd take him to pay us all back."

Murrue smiled, thin fingers laced together. One of the things that had attracted her to Mwu, one of the things she loved most about him, was his kindness. He hid it (or tried to) under bravado, acted like a typical pilot around everyone else, but she knew. "That's just the way he is."

"Yes, I'm beginning to see that."

"Do me one more favour, okay? Don't tease him."

Erica grinned, taking a sip of the coffee the captain had made. She was a nice girl, kind-natured and friendly...and boy, was she tough. _She's perfect. Just what I'm looking for. _"Tell me something. Do you have any idea what you want to do when all this is over?"

"When what's over?"

"This," She waved a hand. "The war."

"I don't know. I never really thought about it."

"How come?"

A little smile. "It feels like tempting fate. I try to not even think about what could happen tomorrow."

The older woman made a face. "But that's not living. That's just existing."

"It's sensible. I'd love to be able to plan for tomorrow, to plan for after the war, but.."

"But you might die? Yes, you might." She took another sip of her drink. "But then again, you might not."

"I know that. I'm just being realistic."

"A bit ruthlessly so. Try imagining for once. Think you'd like to come back to Orb with us?"

"I'd like that a lot."

Erica rolled her eyes. "Right, we've established that. Anything else? What about La Fllaga?"

The captain blushed faintly. "Of course, I want him to come too. He deserves it more than I do."

"Find a nice place, settle down?"

Her colour deepened. "Maybe not right away. Maybe a few more dates, see how things go.."

"Oh? I thought things were pretty serious now?"

"Did you?" She poked through the bundles of paper on her desk. "I don't remember telling anyone that."

"No, you didn't. But the colour you went tells me pretty much everything I need to know."

She smiled a little. "I'd just like to try a normal relationship. See if we're really suited."

"You don't think that you are?"

"I think that we might be, yes. But it'd still be nice to be able to act like a normal couple."

"You have a point there. So okay, you both go home and date. What about work?"

The captain frowned slightly. "I don't know. I guess I could find work as a mechanic.." Noting Erica's surprise she smiled. "I wasn't meant to be captain." She waved a hand around her. "I worked on this ship at Heliopolis, and I helped build Strike and the other suits."

"You're an engineer?" At the younger woman's nod she grinned. "You can come work for me when Morgenroete's rebuilt. So can he if he likes - I'll be needing some new test pilots."

"That's very kind of you."

"Actually, it's pretty mercenary of me. I've been keeping an eye on some of this crew to see whether they'd fit in back at the facility, and you were first on my list."

"Ah, so that's the reason for the visit."

"Partly, and partly that I hoped I'd learn something about you and your pilot. But hey, one out of two isn't bad."

The captain laughed. "No, it isn't."

* * *

"She wants us to what?"

"Come work for her when Morgenroete's rebuilt. Apparently she's been eyeing up some of this crew with a mind to poaching them when the war's over."

"And that includes us?" Standing up in Strike's cockpit he rested his elbows on the maintenance gantry where she was sitting. "She did say she was interested in you, mostly 'cause you're a great leader. M'not sure why she'd be bothered about me."

"She says she'll need new test pilots."

He pulled a face. "I don't wanna work for her. She's scary."

"No, she isn't. She's a very kind person. She knows we'd both need somewhere to go."

"I guess we would. I never really thought about it."

Murrue smiled. "Neither did I. Probably for the same reasons you didn't."

"It's kinda nice, though. To think about. Who knows, maybe we can.." His voice trailed off as he saw her expression. "Sorry."

"No, it's alright."

He sighed, then smiled, reaching out to catch her around the waist and tug her into the cockpit with him, sitting down with her on his lap. "Don't worry. I won't talk about it if you don't want me to. Here, maybe you can help me." He tapped the diagnostic panel. "Since you built this bucket of bolts."

"Don't you call it that." She patted the panel gently. "It's alright. He didn't mean it."

"You're fond of it, huh?"

"Course I am. Which is why I want you to take care of it. And yourself."

"Fond of me too?"

She pinked. "You know I am."

"Good." He kissed her cheek. "Now, where am I going wrong with this? One of the pedals is a bit stiff."

"You haven't been eating in here, have you?"

"Course not." He looked mildly offended. "The Morgenroete guys cleaned it up real well when they rebuilt it, and when I have been eating it's been with you."

"What do you mean 'when' you've been eating?"

Mwu immediately pretended he hadn't heard her, poking at a few of the buttons on his seat.

"Mwu."

He fidgeted, but said nothing.

"Fine." She made as though to climb off his lap but he held onto her.

"Alright, so I've been grabbing sandwiches on the go a lot. No law against it."

"No, there isn't, but you're going to make yourself ill. When we're done here, we'll go to the cafeteria."

"Okay, okay. How come you asked, anyway?"

"Because something might have gotten caught under there. But if you haven't been eating in here it might just be a case of it needing oiling. You need to check the pedals and all the connections behind the panel at least once a week - they'd have taught you as much at the Academy."

"They did. But with planes and mobile armours. Stuff like Strike wasn't around back then. Big learning curve."

"I suppose there would be. Well, apart from the pedal is there anything else wrong?"

"It's pilot's dumb?"

She patted his hand. "No, he isn't. But he does need someone to keep an eye on him."

"Would his captain do that?"

"Yes, she would."

He hadn't realised how hungry he was. She'd brought some of those kebabs (they'd been such a hit with the crew they'd become part of the menu) and they sat together on the sofa in their room sharing the food. She'd brought both chili and yogurt sauce, not knowing which he'd prefer, but she seemed to like the chili, managing to get a smear of it on her chin.

"I'm not kissing that off."

"I didn't ask you to." She reached for a napkin and delicately dabbed away the sauce before continuing to eat. "I didn't realise how good these tasted."

"They taste better with that on," He gestured to the bottle of yogurt sauce.

"That stuff doesn't taste of anything."

He huffed, adding more of the yogurt to his kebab and pretending he didn't hear her laughing. "Don't know if I could have a girlfriend who likes chili."

"Oh, don't be silly." Finishing her food she settled back on the sofa, taking a sip of her tea. "I'm not squabbling with you over what kind of sauce I have on a kebab."

"But," he mumbled around his last mouthful of kebab, "I can't kiss you when you taste like that."

She giggled, setting down her tea on the little table. "It's not as if it's really spicy or anything. And if I do eat it I'll eat something else before I kiss you. Sound fair?"

"I guess. Do you think you taste like it now?"

"I doubt it. I didn't have much."

"Let's try it. C'mere." He tugged her onto his lap and caught her lips in a kiss, pulling a face at the faint taste of chili. Murrue for her part rolled her eyes and kissed him properly, then almost fell off the sofa when there was a knock at the door. Hastily straightening out her ruffled clothing she pushed him into the bathroom, hiding his plate under her desk.

"Yes?"

It turned out to be a junior technician with some papers for her to sign. From his hiding place in the tiny bathroom he listened to the brief conversation, not able to hide a grin as the kid stuttered and tripped over his words. He wasn't the only one to have noticed Murrue's beauty - her smile could light up any room she was in, and the kid must have gotten a full blast of it. _She gets all embarrassed when I tease her about people having crushes on her. It's really cute. _Leaning against the wall he glanced over at the washstand. Over the last couple of weeks he'd gradually moved what possessions he had into her room, a couple of uniforms, a pair of Morgenroete overalls, and a collection of personal items he'd bought in Orb to replace what he'd left in Alaska - a hairbrush, toothbrush and toothpaste, shampoo, that sort of thing. These sat on a shelf above the washstand beside hers, and without really knowing it he smiled. It was comforting, almost. Domestic.

"You can come out now."

Pressing the control to open the door he peeked out. Murrue was back on the sofa with her tea, smiling gently. "You didn't mind hiding, did you?"

He smiled himself. "One day, I hope I won't have to." Wandering over he flopped down on the sofa, stretching out with his head on her lap. She brushed fingers over his face and through his hair, giggling when he kissed her hand. One day they wouldn't have to hide anything. That was what he wanted when all this was over. For them to just be like any other couple. _I don't know if stuff will work out the way I want - the way __**we**__ want - but I have to hope it will. And if something happens to threaten her life, well.. _He reached up and ran his own hand over her face, smile growing when she closed her eyes. _I'll protect you. No matter what._

"Did you make that kid blush?"

She crinkled her nose. "He said he'd been running."

"In this gravity? That's an achievement."

"It wasn't me."

He laughed. "Course it was. Half the kids in that hangar bay have crushes on you."

Murrue blushed. "They do not."

"Sure they do. Can't say I blame 'em."

She crossed her arms, grumbling softly much to his amusement. It was fun to tease her - she was adorable when she was cross. Raising his arms he tickled her ribs, almost being tipped onto the floor when she wriggled to try and escape, annoyance replaced with laughter. "That's my girl."

"Jerk."

"I'm a jerk, am I? That's not very nice. Anyone would think you didn't like me."

She smiled. "Well, you _are_ a jerk sometimes. Especially when you tickle me."

"Ah, you like it. Who else would you let tickle you?"

"You're lucky I _let _you."

"Am I really? How would you stop me?" He made as though to tickle her again but she kissed him, laughing into the exchange as he forgot all about the tickling and instead wound his arms around her waist. When they broke for air he shook his head with a fond grin. "Cheater."

"That's not cheating. It's being resourceful."

"If you say so."

Not that he minded.

* * *

( Lol, rambling.

please read and review! )


	11. Chapter 11

"I wondered if I'd find you here."

She smiled a little but didn't answer, just continued to gaze out into space. He'd looked for her in her usual haunts: her office, their room, even the hangar, but had come up empty until he'd decided to check the observation window. She floated there in mid-air, arms wrapped around her knees.....she looked so lost. Understanding he moved to stand behind her, arms wound around her waist. He couldn't say anything to reassure her - couldn't tell her everything would be alright though that was all he _wanted_ to say. Instead he nuzzled a kiss to her cheek. "It's okay to be scared."

"M'not scared."

He smiled but said nothing, and eventually she sighed, angling a peek over her shoulder. "And you're not playing fair."

"Who's playing?"

"How did you know?"

He kissed the back of her neck. "Because _I'm_ scared too."

"You're never scared."

"Sure I am. I just hide it better than most folks."

"Not better than me."

He grinned. "What, is this a competition now?"

"It might be."

"We going to argue about it?"

Murrue smiled. "Would it be something more sensible to argue about? Besides which side of the bed we sleep on or whether chili sauce is better than yogurt sauce?"

"Probably it would be."

"Would it be worth it?"

He ruffled her hair. "No, I don't think it would."

She turned around in his embrace, smile a mixture of apology and affection. "I'm sorry. This is the last thing you need."

"You let me be the judge of that." He leaned down to kiss her forehead. "I'd say we were allowed to be scared, wouldn't you?"

She made a face but nodded, moving close to rest her head on his shoulder. "I told myself I shouldn't be. That it wouldn't help anyone."

"It's good to be scared. It makes you more cautious."

Murrue poked him in the chest. "You don't know the meaning of the word."

He chuckled, placing a hand on his heart. "Ouch."

She smiled herself. "Am I wrong?"

"Whoever heard of a cautious pilot?"

"I'd like to hear of one, if it meant they came home safe." She glanced up at him. "If they didn't mind not being a hero."

"M'not a hero."

"Yes, you are. Everyone knows who you are."

"Being well-recognised doesn't make me a hero."

"No, I suppose not." She reached up to brush fingertips over his face. "But it does make you a target."

"Hey, c'mon.." He brought her close for a hug, kissing the crown of her hair. "Don't think about stuff like that." He knew she was less worried about the battle and her part in it than she was about him, and that was what _he_ was worried about. _I don't want her to take any risks. Not because of me. _As though she knew what he was thinking she moved to kiss him, amber eyes gentle.

"I'll look out for you," she announced softly. "If I can. If I see you in danger I'll.." She broke off when he placed a finger over her lips.

"If you see me in danger, you'll take care of yourself and the ship. Never mind me."

Murrue frowned. "You're saying I should ignore you?"

"I'm saying you shouldn't be reckless."

"Of course not. That's _your_ job, right?" Clearly angry she turned away, floating across to the window and placing a small hand on the glass. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. He understood the anger, the frustration all too well - he felt the same way. _I'd be glad to risk my own life if it meant saving hers, and she do the same for me. _And therein lay the problem. _I don't want her to. I want her to be safe. To go home even if I don't get to... _Shaking his head he moved to stand beside her, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Sorry."

"No, _I_ am." she replied with a little smile. "I shouldn't have blown up at you like that."

"Why shouldn't you have? You're worried."

She wrinkled her nose. "Still, it was a mean thing to say."

"C'mere." Mwu wrapped his arms around her waist. "If anyone would be allowed to get mad at me, it'd be you. And it feels kinda nice."  
"Me getting mad at you is nice?"

He nodded. "Specially about me piloting, 'cause it means that you care. No-one ever did that before."

"I see."

"You could always order me to not go out there."

Murrue smiled. "But you outrank me."

"Doesn't mean I wouldn't listen."

"Yes, you'd listen." She turned around in his embrace and tweaked his nose gently. "But you'd go out there anyway. And it'd have nothing to do with being a hero. Just confidence."

"Confidence?"

"In yourself as a pilot. You couldn't bear to sit here and do nothing while you could be out there making a difference. Am I right?"

"Yeah, you're right. Like always."

She kissed his cheek. "You know it. Now, come with me." Taking his hand she led him back down the corridor, smile impish. He knew where they were likely going, and what she had in mind for when they got there, and understood her reasons. _So we only focus on each other...forget about what might happen tomorrow. That sounds fine to me._

* * *

She woke to see him standing at the window. Propping herself up on an elbow she watched him with a sleepy smile. They'd spent hours together, talk and actions whiling away the hours - he'd done all he could to ease her worries with words and kisses, even deciding to steal her hat. It had been far too small for him, of course, but he'd worn it anyway.

_"Now this makes me captain," _he'd remarked cheerfully. _"I'm in charge."_

_"And that means what?"_

He'd grinned. _"That you do what I say."_

And she had. Stretching out she sighed contentedly, the little sound catching his attention.

"How come you're awake?"

"How come _you_ are?"

He smiled. "Thinking."

"We have to get up in a couple of hours....you should try and get some sleep."

"I know." Kicking off he floated back across to the bed, catching her hand and letting her pull him down. He looked tired, as well might be expected, but happy, and settled down readily enough, head pillowed on her chest. "Order me to stay home."

"No."

He wrinkled his nose. "Why not?"

"Because you weren't made to sit still. As long as I've known you you've preferred to be doing something."

"But.."  
She smiled, twirling blonde hair around her fingers. "Don't fuss."

He grumbled softly but didn't argue further. She had no doubt that if she'd asked him to stay he would have, but that the inactivity when he could have been doing something he _knew_ he could do would have eaten him up inside. _I can't ask him to do that. All I can do is let him go and wait for him to come back to me. _

"You'll worry, though."  
"Of course I will. But it was my choice."

"If I do make you worry, I promise you can kick my ass when I get back. Or the Director can."

She laughed. "I'm sure she'll take you up on that."

* * *

The hangar bay was noisy with the shouts of technicians working to get the two mobile suits ready for launch. He hadn't seen the Dearka kid since they'd gotten in here - he was either working on Buster already or still trying to put the moves on Kira's carrot-top friend - in fact aside from a few words of good luck from Murdoch he hadn't really seen anyone to talk to. Until the proximity alarm in the cockpit chimed, that is. Surprised, he glanced up from the panel to see her there in front of the mobile suit wearing a nervous little smile. "Murrue?" Tugging off his helmet Mwu pushed the control to open the door, ducking out into the hangar where she floated there waiting for him.

"I thought I wouldn't make it in time."

He grinned. "Make it to what, silly?"

Murrue smiled back a little, and as she moved closer the locket he'd sometimes seen on her nightstand floated from under the open collar of her jacket. Curious he reached out to catch hold of it, to her evident surprise. It was quite large, silver and coffin-shaped with a red rose on the front - her favourite flower, he'd learned.

"He was a pilot too, wasn't he?" She'd never spoken of him, and he'd never asked, a mixture of compassion and jealousy holding his tongue.

"Y-yes.." She looked saddened for a moment and he smiled.

"It's alright. I'll be right back. Bringing victory with me."

Murrue smiled herself a little, moving to place her hands on his chest and he caught her shoulders, pulling her close for a kiss. He'd protect her. Whatever it took. She wouldn't thank him for it of course, but he wasn't about to let anything happen to her.

"You will be careful, won't you?"

"I'll do my best."

She gave him a little half-smile as though she wasn't entirely convinced but nodded, winding thin arms around him in a hug he instantly returned.

"I'll be waiting."

"I know."

She nodded, resting her chin on her shoulder. "Mwu?"

"Hmm?"

Her voice dropped to a whisper. _"I love you."_

It was all he'd been waiting to hear. Pulling away slightly he kissed her forehead. "Now there's an incentive to come back."

"That's not why I said it."

"I know. But thank you. Love you too."

"Please be careful."

"I'll try." _But I'm not promising anything._

* * *

( and we know how that turned out, don't we?

please read and review! )


	12. Chapter 12

It was dark. And he kinda hurt. Not badly - just niggles here and there in his back and legs. Puzzled, he tried to sit up, only to find that aside from being able to sort of shift his arms and wiggle his toes he could barely move. And he couldn't open his eyes. Thwarted for the time being he resigned himself to trying to find out where he was. It was quiet - just the sounds of distant footsteps to break the silence - and it smelled....clean. Detergent, antiseptic. A hospital, then. Had he been in an accident? Frowning slightly he tried to remember, only to frown more when he realised that not only could he not remember his accident, he couldn't remember _anything._ Not his name, not his work or family...nothing. But far from it causing panic, it actually caused relief. Which was weird.

"Maybe I was a bad person..."

"What on earth are you talking about?"

If he could blink, he would have. There was someone there with him. A female someone. "Hello?"

"Hello." A gentle voice, brimming with laughter. "It's about time you woke up."

"Is it?"

"You've been asleep for three weeks." This time she sounded mildly scolding - this girl obviously knew him. At least _someone_ did.

"Did I have an accident?"

Silence for a moment. Then she spoke again, quieter this time. "You could say that."

"I see. Can....I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

He sighed. "Do you know me?"

The girl fell silent again, this time for longer. Eventually; "Yes, I know you."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Cause I upset you, didn't I? I didn't mean it."

He felt a warmth in his hand - she'd taken it in hers. "I know you didn't. It's okay. What do you remember?"

"Nothing. Not even my name."

"It's Mwu. Mwu La Fllaga."

He pursed his lips. Sounded sort of familiar. "Where are we?"

"Up in space. We just came through a big battle - that's how you got hurt. A friend of ours found you and brought you back here."

"So I've been sleeping for three weeks? Did I get that badly hurt?"

The girl squeezed his hand gently. "Bad enough. But the doctors said with time and care you'll make a full recovery."

"Even my memory?"

"I don't see why not."

"I'm glad." Wishing he could see his mysterious companion he turned his face toward where her voice had come from. "Cause I think I'd like to remember you."

"Oh?" The smile was back in her voice. "That's nice to know." He felt something soft brush his forehead. "My name is Murrue."

"That's a pretty name." A name to match her voice - he could listen to her all day. "Are you pretty?"

Soft laughter. "I don't know."

"Did I ever tell you that you were? I bet I did."

"Now what makes you think we're that close?"

A very good question. He paused to think for a moment. He remembered nothing about her save for her name, yet here he was acting as though they'd known each other for years. _But maybe we have... _"I just....know. It feels like I've always known you." He smiled a little. "We _are_ that close, aren't we?"

"Yes."

His smile grew. He was in a hospital, unable to move and with no memory of his life - yet somehow he didn't mind any of it. Not if he wasn't alone. "Will you stay with me?"

"Of course." Something brushed his forehead again. "And I have an idea. I'll be back in a minute." Letting go of his hand she got up and left the room, tapping footsteps fading into the distance and leaving just the memory of her voice and the faint waft of a sweet scent. He couldn't remember her however hard he tried, but given the warmth he'd felt - still felt - in his chest it seemed as though the connection went deeper than just memories.

"Back." He heard her footsteps then the _clink_ of something metallic. "This might sting a bit, but don't wriggle." A moment or two later something warm and wet touched his forehead and eyes. It hurt and he winced, but kept still as she'd asked.

"Whatcha doing?"

"There's a lot of dried blood here keeping your eyes from opening....I'm washing it away so you'll be able to see."

"Oh." It took a long time, she carefully dabbing at his face, but eventually the pressure around his eyes lifted and he was able to open them slowly. Though the light in the room he was in was fairly dim, after so long with his eyes closed it was terribly bright at first, he having to blink rapidly to adjust before looking around. The room was small, plain white and boring, but the one sitting by his bed instantly caught and held his attention. And he stared - he couldn't help it.

She was stunning. Thick dark hair, pale skin, golden eyes and a gentle smile, which grew when he noticed his avid gaze, pink tinting her cheeks.

"You're beautiful."

Her blush deepened, she glancing away shyly. "Thank you."

That warmth in his chest was back again, a heady rush of exhilaration and affection, and he grinned, understanding what it meant. _She and I _are_ close. _Since Murrue-san wasn't watching it gave him the opportunity to look at her as much as he wanted, and he took in everything about her. She was dressed in a grey and white jacket and skirt - some kind of uniform, he supposed - with yellow and red shoulder bands, though the collar was unzipped. She also looked tired, eyes red-rimmed and shadowed with violet. If he'd been here for three weeks.....had she stayed with him?

"You should go get some rest..."

A little smile. "I'm fine."

"I'll be okay now. And I can't get up and run off."

The smile grew reluctantly. "You would if you could."

"Probably. But I can't even stand up right now, so I'll promise you I'll stay put. C'mon.."

"I'd rather stay here.." She reached up to rub one eye, biting her bottom lip, and he realised to his consternation that she was trying not to cry. Gritting his teeth he placed both hands flat to the mattress and forced himself to move, pushing himself into a sitting position and ignoring the pain. Murrue-san blinked, clearly startled. "What are you doing?"

"C'mere.." He held out his arms. "I'm sorry I scared you, and that I don't remember you. If you want to cry, then cry."

She hesitated for a moment, then shuffled close to hug him gently, the tears she'd been trying to hide soaking into the bandages that covered his chest. Mwu did what he could to comfort her, managing to stroke her hair and it seemed to help. "You've been here all this time.."

She nodded silently.

"Thank you."

"Why are you so calm?"

"Huh?"

She peeked up at him, make-up smudged from her tears and efforts to wipe them away. "You've lost all your memories but you're acting like nothing's wrong. You're not angry, not upset...you're just yourself."

"I don't know. When I realised I couldn't remember anything I felt kinda relieved for some reason. Like there was stuff I was better off not remembering. That's why I wondered if I was a bad person."

Murrue-san smiled. "You're the best person I know." She climbed carefully onto the bed beside him and took his hand, stroking bandaged fingers. "That's something you don't need to worry about."

"Did I have bad memories?"

"Some of them were, yes."

He nodded thoughtfully. "Wish I could remember _you_."

She patted his hand. "You will. I'm just glad you're all right. Mostly all right."

Mwu chuckled, then winced. "Ow."

"You should lie down."

"I'm okay. If I laid down I'd never get back up."

She frowned. "You were hurt badly. You need to rest."

Glancing down at the hand that held his he smiled, pulling it close to press a kiss to the back. To his amusement Murrue-san actually squeaked, face flushing bright red.

"Didn't I ever kiss you before?"

"You did, but.." She ran a hand through her hair, swinging her legs slowly. "I don't know - I guess I expected things to be different. For you to treat me like a stranger."

"I knew when I saw you that you weren't a stranger."

"How?"

He grinned. "I just did."

This wasn't exactly what she'd expected. When he'd asked if she knew him it had felt like she'd been punched in the chest. Three weeks he'd been sleeping, and she'd stayed by his side as much as she could so she'd be there when he woke up - the idea that he could have amnesia had never occurred to her. _All we had, all we've been through....and he doesn't remember any of it.. _But he hadn't acted like she'd thought someone with amnesia would have. If she'd lost her memories she'd probably be scared, upset, even angry. But Mwu... Mwu didn't seem to mind. He even seemed quite happy. _Perhaps....some memories are burdens?_

"Is there anything you'd like to know?"

"About me, or about you?"

She smiled. "Both, if you like."

"Are you a soldier?"

"We both are. Or were, anyway. The battle we were in, the war we were fighting....it's all over now. We can go home."

He nodded. "Where's that?"

"An island country called Orb. It's beautiful."

"How long have we lived there?"

"We haven't. Not until we get there." She sighed. "It's complicated. We were fighting for the wrong side. You found out what they were doing, came back and helped us escape. After that we went to Orb.."

"Did we fight for them?"

"Yes, we did. And because of that we have a home there now. Somewhere to live peacefully."

Mwu smiled. "Good. Though I _think_," he remarked, raising the covers to look at bandaged legs, "that I'll be in hospital for a while."

"Only for a while, though."

"Then what?"

"Then we'll figure something out."

He nodded. "I'll make it up to you once I get well. I promise."

Leaning over she ruffled his hair. "You don't need to."

"Will we still be okay?"

_Will we still be okay? _We. He remembered nothing about her, knew nothing save for what she'd told him, yet he still used the word _we_. As though nothing had changed. _Has it changed, though? It isn't as though this makes him a different person. He's still Mwu._

"We'll be okay."

* * *

( I skipped the after battle part. Yes, I'm boring, but I don't like writing him hurt. I'll allude to it in later chapters.

please read and review! )


	13. Chapter 13

Something felt weird. Blinking back dreams he couldn't remember he stared at the bare metal ceiling for a while, fidgeting slightly at the odd sensation that had woken him - a feeling halfway between an itch and a tickle on his right leg. Tilting his head he peeked down at himself...then smiled. Sitting there beside him, carefully bathing a rather nasty-looking wound on his leg, was Murrue-san. She'd spent a lot of time here in the couple of days since he'd first woken. Though he still wasn't able to remember anything about her, which had to hurt, she still visited him, telling him stories and answering any questions he might have. And now he had one more.

"How come you're doing that?"

She smiled herself and glanced up at him. "If I remember rightly, you complained the last time I was here that the nurses weren't very gentle."

"Don't know if I _complained_ as such.." he protested, rubbing at the bandages over his nose. He'd just mentioned it, that was all. They'd treated him okay, but definitely not gently, cleaning and rebandaging him and shooting the occasional glare in case he even _thought _about saying anything. "They're scary. Was I a jerk to them?"

"Not a jerk, no. But you weren't a very good patient."

He nodded slowly. "I see. I should apologise to them, then."

Murrue-san patted his hand. "I think they'd like that." Dipping her cloth in the bowl of warm water she dabbed at the wound again, wiping away dried blood before applying antiseptic ointment and binding it up with clean bandages. "You've been scratching these, haven't you?"

"A bit.."

She clucked in annoyance. "They won't heal properly that way."

"I don't have a whole lot else to do here."

"Why didn't you ask? I can bring things for you to read, ask people to visit.."

"But I don't _know _anyone. Or if I do, I don't..."

Murrue-san smiled kindly. "You will remember. And talking to others will help."

"Wish you could come by more often."

"So do I. But I have a lot of work to do still."

He nodded. "One of the nurses said you were the captain. That means you're the boss?"

"So to speak."

"I must be a pest then.."

"Anything but. I'd prefer to be here than doing paperwork."

"You could bring your papers here."

She smiled again. "I'll think about it." Scooting her chair down she unwound another length of soiled bandage and began to clean the injury underneath, looking up in alarm when he hissed in pain. "Oh, I'm sorry.."

"Nah." He managed a smile of his own, probably unconvincing. "You're a lot gentler than those nurses. Don't worry." She just looked away, and he frowned. "Hey.."

"M'okay.." But she didn't _sound_ okay. Managing to sit up again he placed a hand on her shoulder, frown melting into concern when he felt it shaking slightly.

"You're crying again."

"No, I'm not."

"You are. Now, I don't have enough strength right now to get you to turn round, so unless you want me to try standing up, how 'bout you look at me?"

She sighed, and peeked back up at him, tawny eyes sparkling with tears. But she did smile, just a little. "You were always like that."

"Glad to hear it. So why're you crying? Cause it hurt? That's my own fault."

"It's my fault."

"Huh?"

Her smile faded and she stared at her lap, thin fingers picking at her skirt. "That you got hurt. I wasn't a good enough captain. Backed myself into a corner, and you saved me.."

"I saved you?"

A small nod. "I told you to take care of yourself. To not worry about me. But.."

"I'm glad."

She looked up at him in surprise. "You're glad? But you could have... And you're.." She gestured to the bandages swathing his form. "It'll take you months to recover. How can you be glad?"

That was easy. "Because you're okay."

Murrue-san blinked, then sniffled, reaching up to scrub at her eyes. "Now look what you've made me do."

He grinned, reaching as best he could to brush a stray tear from her cheek. "C'mon now, don't cry anymore. I'm here, you're here...it's going to be all right."

"Yes, I think that it is. Now sit still." Dipping her cloth into the basin of water again she continued to dab the injury, studiously focusing on her task and never noticing his fond smile.

_I must have been a pretty good guy to have had someone like you.._

_

* * *

  
_

"Murrue-san?"

For a moment she didn't seem to have heard him. She was there at the observation window, both hands wrapped around a mug of coffee, just staring at the Earth rotating slowly below them. _Archangel_ was almost home, they hoping to enter Orb airspace in a couple of days, but for his friend the worry didn't end then. He'd heard that Mwu-san had lost his memories - no-one had seen Murrue-san since then, and the ship was abuzz with chatter as to how she might be coping. Moving closer, Kira placed a careful hand on her shoulder. "Murrue-san?"

She glanced up in surprise, then smiled. "Hello. You're up late."

"So are you."

A little shrug. "I'm a bit of a night owl. And I had a lot on my mind."

"Like Mwu-san?"

She nodded.

"How is he?"

"Oddly cheerful, considering everything."

"He has amnesia, then?"

"Yes. But it doesn't seem to be bothering him that much. He did say that he felt relieved when he realised he didn't remember anything - I think he sort of sensed that some of those memories were sad ones."

Kira frowned. "Not all of them, though. What about the memories of _you_?"

"He was able to guess that we'd been together - he said it felt like he'd known me a long time."

She smiled. "That he was glad he'd gotten hurt....because it meant that I was okay."

"That sounds like something Mwu-san would say. It sounds like he still loves you."

"Yes, it does." _He does. I know he does. I can tell by the way he looks at me. He doesn't remember me, but it doesn't matter..._ "I'm going to take care of him."

"Yes, I thought you would."

"Did you?"

Her friend grinned. "Maybe I should have said I _knew_ you would. I knew as soon as the doctors said he wouldn't be able to do much for himself for a while that you'd take care of him. Even though he doesn't remember?"

"Memories aren't all that make up a person." She tapped her heart. "He's still Mwu here."

"Do you think I could see him?"

Murrue smiled. "Of course. I'm sure he'd like that. He doesn't get many visitors."

"How come?"

"He's not sure how to talk to people, and I think that they aren't sure how to talk to _him_."

Kira-kun nodded. "It'd be like getting to know him all over again."

"Maybe not. He knew me, knew we were close - I think he'd know you were a friend."

"You think he'll have a lot of questions?"

"Oh, I'm sure he will."

And like always, his friend was right. As soon as he entered sickbay Mwu-san sat up as straight as he could, blue eyes alight with interest.

"I haven't seen you before."

Kira smiled. "No, I haven't been able to visit before, and I'm sorry for that. I'm glad you're looking better, though - you had us all worried."

Mwu-san tipped his head to one side. "Murrue-san said that one of my friends found me and brought me here....was that you?"

"Three of us, actually. My friend, my sister and I."

"Thank you." He grinned brightly. "I owe you."

"No, you don't. You're my friend and besides, I owe you so much it'll take me years to pay it back."

"Really?" Kira nodded and the older man tapped his chin. "Well, since I don't remember that, we'd better call it quits. Well, almost."

"Almost?"

His smile became sheepish. "The doctors here won't tell me anything, or let Murrue-san tell me anything more than she already has. I get that I have to remember things for myself, but that could take a really long time.."

"So you'd like me to help out?" At Mwu-san's fervent nod he leaned back in the little chair. "I guess I could. Where would you like me to start?"

"What's your name? How come a kid like you ended up here?"

"My name is Kira. And I ended up here kind of by accident. You and Murrue-san helped my friends and I out a lot - that's what I owe you for."

He nodded thoughtfully. "What about me?"

"I think you told me you were meant to be an escort for five pilots. To just bring them to this ship then go back to the frontlines. But the pilots got killed - it was up to just you and I to defend everyone else."

"Is that how I got hurt?"

"No. All that happened earlier this year. We've been doing a pretty good job of keeping the ship safe - you even disobeyed orders to save it."

"Murrue-san said I saved her."

"Yes. _Archangel _- this ship - was in danger. A hit was coming they couldn't have evaded....so you took that hit for them."

Mwu-san smiled a little. "I should be dead, shouldn't I?"

"You had someone looking out for you that day."

"She was waiting for me."

Kira grinned. "Yes, she was."

His friend settled back into the pillows, pressing bandaged fingers together. "She blames herself for what happened to me. But I don't blame her. If I had my memories, would I have thought differently?"

"No. Definitely not. You wouldn't even have had second thoughts about it."

"I didn't think so. When I first woke up, I wondered if I'd been a bad person, since I was kinda relieved I didn't remember anything. But I can't have been, if I had someone like her with me."

"You're one of the best people I know."

He smiled. "I'm glad. What do you know about me?"

"Not much," the boy admitted. "You and Murrue-san kept to yourselves a lot of the time. I know that you're a pretty famous pilot - a lot of people have heard of you, but not much aside from that." A lie, but Mwu-san didn't need to hear what he remembered from Mendel. He'd been through enough already. "Murrue-san tends not to confide in people too much."

"And if she did in me, I can't remember it." Mwu-san frowned. "She must be feeling pretty lonely right now."

"I think Lacus is with her." At his friend's quizzical glance Kira smiled. "She's a friend of mine, and a very good listener."

"I want to listen too," Mwu-san grumbled. "I know she can't always be here, but it's so boring when she isn't. Not that _you're_ boring," he added hastily, "but I think there are things only Murrue-san can tell me."

"Yes, there probably are. I'm sorry I couldn't help you more."

"Don't worry about it. It's nice knowing I have friends."

"So I can come back?"

The older man grinned. "Of course."

* * *

He was looking much better. Sitting propped up by pillows, eating an otherwise fairly bland meal of scrambled eggs with gusto - after so long being fed by IV she supposed any real food would taste like a gourmet meal. "Enjoying that?"

He glanced up, bandaged face lighting in a huge smile when he saw her. "Am I ever." He held up an arm free of lines, only a cottonwool ball taped in the crook to show where they had been. "Took those things out this morning - said I was okay to eat and drink for myself now. Want some?"

She shook her head with a smile. "I already ate. Did they bring you a drink?"

"Just that," he gestured to the glass of water on the table beside the bed. "The doctor had some drink that smelled really good, but he said I wasn't allowed stuff like that yet. Water's so boring."

"I know. But it'll be better for you." Moving across she sat on the chair beside him. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"Alright. Not tired or anything. Just bored."

"Yes, Kira-kun said as much."

Mwu smiled. "He's a good kid. He looked to have a lot on his mind, though."

"I think so too. He hasn't mentioned it to me, but I think he has to Lacus-san and the others."

"He mentioned someone called Lacus.."

"She came to visit me yesterday. A very kind young lady." She leaned forward and patted his arm gently. "Kira-kun said you wanted to talk to me."

"Yeah." He rubbed at his nose under the mask of bandages. "I know the docs have said to not tell me anything, but I figure that it might help us both. The kid said you don't confide in others so well.."

Murrue nodded, smile a little rueful. "I'm beginning to learn how - some people don't take 'I'm fine' for an answer."

"I see. But you're still lonely."

"How did you know?"

"Cause I am too. The doctors and nurses are okay, and the kid's nice, but I prefer it when you're here."

"I prefer being here too." She leaned over and ruffled his hair gently. "What did you want to ask me?"

"Everything. Where I come from, if I have any family..."

"You come from Massachusetts, and lived there until you were about ten. It's a nice place - I visited relatives there - and you told me a little about what it was like to grow up there. I'm still kind of jealous that you had winters like that."

He nodded, seemingly fascinated. "What was my house like? Have you seen it?"

Murrue bit her lip, unsure of what to say at first. "I've seen photographs," she admitted finally. "With things the way they are, I won't be able to see it for real."

"Oh. Are my family there?"

She looked away. Mwu regarded her with curiosity for a moment, then nodded slowly. "I don't have any, do I?"

"Yes, you do. You have an aunt and uncle who live out in Iowa. You moved there when.." She broke off, running a hand through her hair.

"When my parents died." he finished softly. "No wonder the kid didn't want to tell me. Did he know?"

"He knew some. Not all."

"Then I was right to talk to you."

She leaned back into the chair with a sigh. "Do you wish I hadn't told you?"

"No. No, I'm glad you did. It's better to know about stuff like that. Do....are my uncle and aunt alright?"

She nodded. "You told me you weren't really close. Christmas and birthday messages, but that's about it. You said you started keeping your distance from people after you lost your parents."

"Why?"

"I guess so you wouldn't be hurt again."

He made a face, nose wrinkled under the wrappings. "That sounds kinda lonely. But I didn't keep my distance from you?"

"Anything but." She smiled fondly at the memories. "You chased me."

He grinned, sunny mood restored. "Did I really? Proves I have good taste, at least."

Murrue pinked, twisting thin fingers in her skirt. _Still has a silver tongue. _Feeling a gentle hand on her head she glanced up to see him smiling at her, the expression gentle.

"I'm sorry. Did I make you uncomfortable?"

"No. You were always very good at flattery, though."

"Glad to hear it." He sighed quite contentedly, settling back against the pillows. "So I wasn't too happy when I was a kid, but I am now. That's really all I need to know."

She smiled. He was, she thought, just a little bit different without his memories. "And you know, you do have a family. You have me."

He nodded. "That's right." Leaning out of bed (wincing as it pulled at healing skin) he kissed her, chuckling at her muffled squeak of surprise. It didn't last long, just a brief exchange, but he was clearly happy, grinning from ear to ear. "Wanted to do that since I woke up."

"Oh.." Oddly shy for some reason she looked down at her lap, a little smile curving her lips.

_Yes, you're still Mwu._

_

* * *

  
_

( curious Mwu is curious.

please read and review! )


	14. Chapter 14

Sickbay was dark and quiet. Opening one eye he peeked around cautiously, a satisfied smile curving his lips. He was alone. With them taking out the IV lines the day before there was nothing to keep him tied down. Sitting up (wincing slightly) he pushed back the covers and carefully slipped out of bed, biting his lip to stifle the hiss of pain when his feet touched the floor. They'd said his legs had been pretty badly burned, and he'd probably have to relearn how to walk, but right now that wasn't a problem. He'd noticed that the doctors and Murrue-san sort of floated when they came to visit - with the ship still in space there was no gravity. Unsure of how he knew that but pleased anyway, he kicked off from the deck, which caused more pain but also a grin of triumph.

_Now the second puzzle. Where do I go from here?_

Ideally he wanted to find Murrue-san's room....she'd probably be sleeping right now but he never got to spend enough time with her. With her being so busy, and sickbay visiting hours being what they were, she could maybe only spend an hour with him each day. In the corridor outside the tiny room he looked left, then right, then decided on that direction. The place did sort of seem familiar, though oddly, not if he focused too much. If he didn't think about it, he found he knew where he was going. Without really understanding how he threaded his way through corridors and even up elevators until he stopped at a particular door.

_Now what? If I knock and wake her up, she'll probably frogmarch my ass back to sickbay.. _Closing his eyes he placed a hand on the numberpad beside the door, fingers brushing against them until he tapped in a pattern that felt familiar. To his satisfaction the door slid silently open, releasing a swirl of warm air, and as quietly as he could he slipped inside. It took a while for his eyes to readjust to the darkness, but gradually he was able to make out her figure curled up under the blankets on the bed. Floating to the small dresser against the wall he peeked in the mirror, pursing his lips slightly then began to poke about through the items in the drawers. Hairbrush, tubes and bottles that might be make-up, a necklace... It was an unusual shape - _coffin-shaped,_ his mind said - with an embossed image of a flower on the front. It was just a necklace, yet something told him he shouldn't open it or even be holding it, and he set it carefully back where he'd found it. In another drawer, right near the front as though it had been put back recently, was a photograph in a wooden frame, which he carried to the door to see the image more clearly in the chink of light.

_Is...that me? _His reflection in the darkened mirror had shown only bandages and tousled hair, so he hadn't had much to go on. But the picture.. Murrue-san was there, not in her uniform but a pink blouse, it's colour matching the colour in her cheeks, and she was smiling. And the one beside her was also smiling, holding her so close her face was pressed against his. White T-shirt, messy blonde hair, blue eyes, and no bandages. Reaching up he touched the bindings over his face. _I wonder if I'll ever look like that again... _

_"Hey, La Fllaga! Can I borrow you both for a minute?"_

_He grinned. "Depends on what you're borrowing us for." Beside him, Murrue looked suspicious, probably with good reason, as the Director made her way toward them._

_"I want a picture of you both."_

_Murrue frowned. "Why?"_

_"Why not?"_

_"Good enough reason." Reaching out he pulled Murrue onto his lap, holding her close, and despite her earlier grumbles she smiled, even laughing when he rubbed his cheek against hers. "Can we have a copy of this?"_

_"Sure you can. I'll make sure to get one to you."_

_He nodded, nuzzling a kiss to his girlfriend's cheek. It would be a reminder of the time they'd spent here in Orb, whatever happened later._

_That's right... we were in Orb. _Behind the images of themselves was a blurred mass of green and blue...trees and sky. If he closed his eyes he could see them, and white sand, smell the scents of flowers, salt and sunscreen. A memory. He leaned back against the door with a smile. Murrue-san had been right.

"She was right.."

"I usually am." The voice was sleepy but full of smiles, and he smiled himself.

"Did I wake you?"

"I woke up when I heard you come in. You know you shouldn't be out of sickbay." Pushing back the covers she floated across to join him, glancing down at the picture he held.

"Erica took this," she mused. "I didn't want her to at first, but I'm glad she did. She gave me it a couple of days ago - she'd forgotten she had it."

He nodded, closing his eyes to bring back an image of the other woman. Red hair clipped back, blue eyes, red jacket and green trousers. And... "Nosy."

Murrue-san laughed softly. "Yes, she is. But she's a good friend. She's visited me a lot. And she's offered to let me stay at her house when we get back home."

"While I'm in hospital?"

She nodded. "And until I find a place for us both to live."

"I can live with you?"

"Of course. You can't stay in hospital forever."

"I guess not."

She smiled and took his hand, leading him over to the window and pulling up the shade. What he saw...took his breath away. There was Earth, the planet they'd both grown up on, the place they called home, all green and blue and streaked with white clouds. For a moment he wasn't able to speak, and judging by the gentle squeeze of his hand it seemed as though Murrue-san understood.

"It's beautiful."

"Yes, it is."

"We're going back to Orb?"

She leaned into him a little, closing her eyes when he placed an arm around her waist. "We don't have anywhere else to go. But if I could choose, I think I'd want to go there anyway."

"What about your family?"

"They're alright. They're in California - in San Francisco. You arranged it so I could talk to them a few weeks ago - I hadn't been able to since we left the military."

"Why did we leave?"

"They left us to die," she answered matter-of-factly. "I guess we'd outlived our usefulness. You were the one who found out, and you came back to tell us so we could get away in time."

He nodded, still gazing at the planet spinning slowly beneath them. "You won't be able to see them again?"

"Yes, I will. I've been able to talk to them since - Erica helped me with that - and told them what happened, and they're going to try and move to Orb. Since we're deserters, they're not safe back home."

"Did I ever meet them?"

"Only when you called them, not face-to-face. But you'll be able to."

He frowned a little. Surely if he and Murrue-san had been together he'd met her parents? "How long have we been together?"

"Four months."

"That's _all_?" When he'd woken up and seen her he'd been convinced he'd known her for years, everything about her feeling familiar and comforting. _I didn't even know my own name but I knew that I loved her. I know it now. _It certainly didn't feel like it had only been four months. "How long had it been when that picture was taken?"

Murrue-san took the framed photograph from him, tracing the images with a smile. "It was just before we left for space, so it was just a month or so. It does feel like longer, but we'd known each other for a couple of months before we actually got together."

"We were friends?"

She nodded. "Good friends. It was tough work being captain, but you were always there to lean on - I don't know what I'd have done without you."

"I'm glad."

"You were also a pain in the butt."

He laughed. "I'm sure you put me in my place."

"Of course."

He looked much better. Still tired, but the bruising and swelling around his eyes and nose had gone down, the bandaging around his arms and legs had been reduced - he had as strong a constitution as the doctors had ever seen. _They said that by all rights, he shouldn't have survived the explosion or the injuries it caused. He was in surgery for over twelve hours....Kira-kun wouldn't even tell me he was alive until they were sure he was out of danger. _But here he was, alive and mostly well, and just a little bit different from before. _He's.....innocent, somehow. Because he doesn't remember all the sad stuff that happened when he was younger, it doesn't affect him. _Leaning a little closer she kissed him gently, smiling when he instantly returned it.

"You're going to be all right, you know?"

"Yeah, I know."

She nodded, reaching up to run a hand through his hair, straightening it out. "Now, what should I do with you? The sensible option would be to take you back to sickbay, but you _did_ come all this way, so I guess I can let you stay for tonight. Here," she took his arm and drew him over to the bed. "You sleep there, and I'll take the sofa."

"No."

"No?"

"C'mere." Sitting down on the bed he pulled her down beside him, winding arms around her waist to keep her close. "This is why I came here."

"But doesn't it hurt?"

"No, not really, and even if it did I wouldn't care."

"You're impossible."

"Good." Lying on his side to avoid the burns on his back he brought her close to lie beside him, nuzzling his face into her hair with a happy sigh. "I do love you, you know."

She smiled. "Yes, I know."

"Do you?"

She brushed a hand over the bandages on his face. "Yes."

Mwu smiled and kissed her, the exchange so passionate it made her toes curl. Reaching up she wound arms around his shoulders, being careful to not touch his injuries, and giggled when he kissed her neck. "Stop that, pest."

"Don't wanna."

"You came in here to sleep."

"Did I?"

"I thought you did."

He grinned, settling down beside her. "Doesn't mean I can't have fun."

"Behave, or I'm sending you back."

"Yes, ma'am."

* * *

He winced, shading eyes with a hand until she placed the straw hat on his head. Ever since they'd landed on the ocean he'd been asking if he could go outside, agreeing to wear a long sleeved shirt and hat and as much sunscreen as she wanted to daub him with, but she'd had an inkling he didn't remember how hot Orb could be...and she'd been right. He blew upwards at messy blonde fringe to clear it from his face, peeking at her with a plaintive expression.

"You're the one who wanted to come out here."

"I did. And I'm glad I did." He pushed the wheelchair toward the deck railing, leaning on it to squint at the distant island. "Is that it?"

"Yes, that's it. The main island, anyway. There are a group of them."

"How come it's so hot?"

"Sub-tropical. According to Erica it doesn't get much colder than 14 or 15 degrees even in winter, so we definitely won't get any snow."

"Aw."

"Do you remember snow?"

Mwu frowned slightly, then nodded. "Sort of. It made the whole place white."

"And cold?"

"Oh yeah. I remember that."

She leaned on his chair. "What else can you remember?"

"Not much yet," he admitted softly. "Bits and pieces. I remember that picture being taken, the one in your room, but not much else concrete."

"You will."

"I know. Will you help me? Tell me more stories?"

"Of course I will." _As many as you want to hear. _

"I think this'll be fun."

Murrue laughed. "So do I."

* * *

( random chapters are the best kind.

please read and review! )


	15. Chapter 15

He wasn't in his room. Again. The covers on the bed were thrown back, a glass of water on the nightstand had been knocked over...there was no sign of him. Palming her face she mopped up the spilled water and poured some fresh before placing the flask she'd brought beside it and peeking up and down the corridor to see if she could spot him, but he'd vanished. With a little sigh she flagged down a passing nurse, who groaned. "Again? We're going to have to take that thing off him."

"If I can find him, I'll talk to him, and see if we can work something out."

"_If_ you can find him. He's gotten pretty good at driving that thing." The hospital had made the mistake of giving him a wheelchair to make things easier for him, and had discovered to their cost that it also provided him with a means of escape. The hospital was large and sprawling, almost like a miniature town in itself, with miles of winding corridors - perfect for exploring. Since giving him the chair a few days ago they'd found him in the cafeteria, the children's ward, even the hospital chapel, but he did seem to have a favourite spot, and that's where she decided to look. Making her way to the ground floor she wove her way through a maze of hallways until reaching a door that opened onto a small courtyard garden. It was beautiful, filled with dozens of flowers and even a tiny pond in one corner, and, just as she'd expected, a man in blue pyjamas. He'd moved himself onto a bench, the chair not far away, and he was staring at his feet.

"Trying to wiggle my toes," he announced without turning round.

"Any luck?"

"Some," he admitted, glancing over his shoulder. "I can focus better out here. Back there they stop me."

"Because you'll heal better if you lie still."

"Who said that?" He wrinkled bandaged nose. "Whoever it was, they're boring."

She giggled, moving across to sit beside him. "I know. But the nurse I saw said they're going to take the chair away if you don't stop running off."

"Aww..."

"How about you let me take you out in the chair when I visit? We could explore together."

He smiled. "I'd rather you took me home in it."

"And I will, when we have a home to go to. Erica's house doesn't have a ground floor bedroom. But I think I've been able to find somewhere we can go." Pulling a small folder from her bag she opened it to remove photographs. "Since they need to rebuild Morgenroete - the big factory where they make ships and mobile suits - I've been able to meet a lot of people, and one of them told me about this place. It needs cleaning, and a lick of paint, but I think it'll work just fine. Here." She handed him the sheaf of photos, settling close as he began to flick through them. The house she'd found was quite small, tucked away in a thicket and sheltered from the weather, but with a view of the ocean. It hadn't been lived in for several years and therefore needed some work, but both Kira-kun and Erica had volunteered to help out. As he reached a picture of the main bedroom she pointed to the french windows. "That's what I had in mind for your room. It's nice and big, and you can walk straight out into the garden."

"It looks nice," he mused softly. "But only 'my' room?"

"You're better off by yourself until those burns heal. I don't want to hurt you."

"You wouldn't." He wound an arm around her shoulders, brushing lips against her hair. "Little thing like you?"

She poked his ribs. "You need room to stretch out."

"If we get a really big bed, I can have both."

Murrue grinned. "You're not going to leave this be, are you?"

"Nope. I think I'll heal better if you're with me."

"Well, that's not up to me - I'd have to ask the doctors."

He pouted. "I know what they'll say."

"Is that why you keep wandering off? Because you want company?"

Mwu sighed, broad shoulders slumped. "Was I alone a lot before? Before we got together?" At her nod he ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah, I figured. It was there in sickbay too. I just thought 'I don't want to be alone anymore' and that was it."

"I'm sorry I can't visit you more. I'd be here all the time if they let me."

"I know." He kissed her gently. "And thank you."

"Will you come back to your room now? I brought some stew."

He smiled. "You cooked for me? The hospital feeds me too, you know."

"I've seen the portions. Not enough to feed a sparrow. I made enough stew so you could have seconds."

"That sounds pretty good," he admitted, accepting her help to slide into the wheelchair. "Alright, I'll come back, but I don't want them to take the chair away."

She pecked a kiss to his cheek. "Then stop running off."

"But there's so much to see here.."

"Didn't I bring enough books?"

"You did, but.."

She smiled. "But you'd rather be outside?"

"I'd rather be anywhere else. I hate that room. And the nurses are mean." Evidently aware he was whining he rubbed the back of his neck with a sheepish grin. "Sorry. You have enough to cope with."

"Would you keep wandering off?"

"Not if you told me not to."

"That's not the point."

He sighed heavily. "I hate being stuck in one place. Just seeing the same four walls."

"But even when you get out of here you'll have to stay put until you learn to walk again."

"But then _you'd_ be there."

"I see." _I knew he wouldn't be happy here, but I didn't think it'd be this bad. Without memories, he doesn't have an anchor point. There's no-one here who knows him - he's just one person out of over a thousand. _If anyone wanted, _needed_ special treatment, needed to know they were important, it was him. And hadn't he earned it? Leaning down she wound arms around his shoulders. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I just am." She kissed the back of his neck. "Let's go try that stew."

* * *

He hadn't realised how hungry he was. The food here wasn't bad, but as Murrue-san had pointed out the portions were tiny, perhaps being enough to feed an ill person but definitely not enough to satisfy a healthy appetite. The stew she'd brought was delicious, full of meat and vegetables and he ate it quite quickly, sinking back into the pillows with a contented sigh when it was gone. She was watching him with what could only be described as an indulgent smile. "Did you enjoy that?"

He nodded. "Did you make it?"

"I did. Erica made some for her family the other night and I thought you might like it, so I asked her for the recipe. There's enough left for tonight and it'll keep warm in the flask. Don't let the nurses see it, though."

"Thank you." Her kindness surprised him even though he knew it shouldn't...it was one of the first things he'd learned - relearned - about her. She'd done so much for him. She'd been there by his side when he'd first woken, had remained there even after realising he had no memory of her, had treated his injuries with more care than any nurse, visited him here every day and now was even bringing him food. And she even seemed _happy_ about it. "Am I really worth all this?"

"Yes," she replied simply.

"Why?"

She laughed. "Erica asks me the same thing sometimes, and the answer's the same. Because I love you."

He grinned, running a hand through his hair. "I think you picked a dumb guy to fall for."

"Erica says that too. But I didn't really 'pick' you. If something's meant to happen, then it'll happen."

"You think it was meant to happen?"

Murrue-san nodded. "And I'm glad it did."

He thought about that a lot after she'd gone. Sitting in his bed by the window he'd watched her leave, chocolate-brown hair fluttering in a breeze he couldn't feel. She'd turned and waved to him, face lit in a beautiful smile, and all he'd wanted in that moment was to go after her. _I feel better when she's here. Comfortable. It was the same back on the ship. _Reaching out to the nightstand he brought out the framed photograph he'd found in her room - he was sure she wouldn't mind him borrowing it - and gazed at the image of the two of them.

_How did I end up being the one she chose? _

It was a story she hadn't told him. She'd said they'd been friends before becoming a couple, but he didn't know what had prompted them to take that last step. Tracing the image of her face he closed his eyes, getting a sudden flash of her bathed in sunlight as she had been when she'd waved goodbye, only this time she was in orange overalls and a baseball cap. He frowned, trying to bring the memory into focus. Introductions, polite and formal. Salutes. Another woman, this one in uniform, sharp angular features and black hair. Taller. Murrue-san had been bleeding from a wound on her shoulder. _Shot. She'd been shot. _Other memories, scattered in fragments. Kira. Orange-painted metal. Sitting in a small room with large windows watching someone patch up his captain. _That's right, she was my captain. I made her take charge. I was a pilot - I didn't want the responsibility of command. _She'd done a terrific job, far better than he could have, but it had always caused guilt that _he_ was the one who'd put her in that position. _I caused her so many problems. All I could do to make up for it was try and support her. _Her determination had surprised him at first, then as he'd gotten to know her better it had been part of what had drawn him to her.

_I'd never met anyone like her, and I never will again._ Opening his eyes he looked back at the picture, remembering a little more about that day. Most times they'd dated he'd taken her to the parks or for walks along the clifftops - that was the first time they'd gone down to the beach, a small secluded one not far from the big factory that he couldn't place the name of. That was why the Director had been there.

"Still nosy."

* * *

"You want to take him out of hospital?"

Her younger friend nodded, thin fingers playing with the stem of the wine glass she'd been given. "I never wanted him to be in there in the first place. Cagalli-san was so kind to offer to pay his medical bills - I couldn't say no. But.."

"But you'd rather care for him yourself."

She nodded. "It feels selfish."

"Love does that to a person."

Murrue ran a hand through her hair. "I don't know why I'm thinking about it - it's not like I have anywhere to take him."

"Sure you do. Bring him here."

She blinked. "Here?"

Erica nodded cheerfully. "We can bring the sofabed downstairs and put it in the dining room - he can just scoot through the sunroom in his wheelchair if he wants to go outside. Go on. It'd be good for him."

"But I can't. You've done enough for me."

"Don't worry about it. Believe it or not I've gotten a soft spot for the idiot, and I know you haven't been happy without him. If the doctors let you, bring him back here with you tomorrow."

"Okay. If you're sure it's really all right.."

"Murrue, it's really all right. Ryuta will be thrilled to have someone new to play with, and I don't doubt that La Fllaga will need to learn to get about without his chair pretty fast in order to keep up with him."

The younger woman smiled. "That's true."

"Then it's settled. I'll come with you tomorrow to pick him up, and if the doctors have any problems, let them come to me."

She laughed. "I will."

La Fllaga looked worse than she'd expected. What skin was visible under the bandages was pale, and he was thinner than she remembered him being - hospital was clearly doing him no good at all. He glanced up from the window as she entered, smiling with (she thought) just the slightest hint of trepidation. "Hello."

"Hey. How are you doing?"

"Alright," he answered mildly. "You've not been to visit before."

"No, I've been busy since we got back, and your girlfriend's been helping me out. I came today 'cause we have something special in mind for you. How would you like to come stay at my house?"

He looked dubious. "Really?"

"Really. We set up the big sofabed in at downstairs room for you - it leads to the outside so you can go and get some fresh air, and the garden's big enough for you to be able to get some exercise. Plus it doesn't look like they feed you enough in here."

"Why does everyone who visits me make some comment about me and food?"

Erica cackled. "Because I've seen you eat."

He tried to scowl but instead laughed, holding his stomach as it apparently hurt. "Ow.."

"Sorry."

"No, it's okay. I haven't laughed in a while."

"No, I imagine there isn't much to laugh about in here. Never mind. Murrue's having a word with the doctors, and we're going to get you out of here."

"I bet they won't want to let me."

She sat on the chair by his bed, patting his arm kindly. "You know Murrue."

He grinned, some of the old boyish spark returning. "Yeah. They don't stand a chance."

And he was right. It was clear the doctors weren't happy, muttering amongst themselves in a corner but Murrue was delighted, chattering nineteen to the dozen as she packed up his things. He didn't say much, seemingly content to just listen to her, but the fond smile spoke volumes.

_Wherever he is, he'd be happy if she was there._

* * *

"What do you think?"

He smiled, gazing out at the darkened ocean. He'd come out here after dinner, pushing the wheelchair as far as he could to the end of the garden - he hadn't been able to see the sea from his hospital window. "It's beautiful."

Murrue ruffled his hair, sitting down on the grass beside the chair. "I meant of Erica's house. She's quite keen to know if you like it."

"I like the room she gave me. It was very kind of her."

"She likes you."

"More than you like me?"

She laughed. "No, not more than I like you. I'd be very jealous."

"Would you?"

"Of course I would." She set her chin on his knees, smiling when he brushed a bandaged hand over her hair. "That's why I wanted to bring you home. To keep an eye on you."

He chuckled softly. "I see. That feels kinda nice."

"Good."

"Are you going to change my bandages like back on the ship? Cause you're a lot gentler than those nurses."

"Yes. I had to promise the doctors I'd bring you back for checkups and physiotherapy, though. They wouldn't let me take you otherwise."

"What else do I do?"

She patted his knee, moving up to kiss him. "You stay here, rest up and get well, and then we can do whatever we want to."

"That sounds good."

"It does, doesn't it?"

* * *

( hee rambles

please read and review! )


	16. Chapter 16

"He still asleep?"

She smiled, pressing a finger to her lips as she closed the door behind her. They'd stayed out a little while last night enjoying the scenery, then she'd cleaned his scars (which were healing nicely) before helping him into bed. And much to her amusement he'd been asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, like a five-year-old after a long day. She'd sat with him for a while in the half-darkness, just watching him. Erica had asked just before they'd gotten back to Earth why she wanted to stay with someone who didn't even remember her, but for her it was simple. She'd known by the way he looked at her - the way he still looked at her - that he loved her. _Memories aren't that important. Even if he never gets the old ones back, we can make new ones._ "Let him sleep as long as he wants. He was never able to before."

"He's going to surface about midday like an overgrown teenager, isn't he?"

"Very possibly."

And Erica was right. When she checked back up on him at half-past eleven he was awake but only just, wide mouth stretching in a wider yawn and wincing when the sunlight from the hall stung his eyes. "Sorry."

"Don't be. S'alright..."

"Slept well?"

A rueful grin. "Bit too well going by the clock..."

"Don't worry about that. It's one of the reasons we brought you here - so you could rest up." Moving into the room she perched on the bed beside him, smiling when he brushed a hand down her back. "How are you feeling?"

"Better than I have. It's great to wake up somewhere that doesn't smell of antiseptic."

"Good to hear. Hungry?"

"Starving," he replied with feeling, accepting her help to sit up and slide into the padded wheelchair. "Is it too late for breakfast?"

"Not quite. I can cook you something if you want."

He nodded, smile rather sheepish. "Sorry."

"For what?"

"Cause I have to sit here and let everyone do stuff for me. It's dumb."

"No, it isn't." She leaned down to kiss the crown of his hair. "You're just not well enough to do them for yourself yet. But you will be."

He poked at his legs. "You think so?"

"Well, I can't redecorate that house all by myself, can I?"

"You think I'll be able to help you by then?"

"Of course you will. The doctors say that with time and physiotherapy you'll be walking as well as ever. The burns didn't go deep enough to hit nerves - it's really just the healing skin and muscle that hurts."

"Really?" He perked up a little. "No-one told me that." He stared down at his legs, wiggling his toes slightly.

Murrue smiled. "That doesn't mean you start straight away. Take things slowly."

"That's so boring.." Setting his chin in a determined look she remembered well, he placed both hands on the arms of his chair and tried to stand up, blue eyes narrowed with the effort and pain. Concerned (but not surprised) she moved to help him sit back down, but instead he placed a hand on her shoulder to stand up straighter. "Doesn't hurt," he claimed, and she said nothing, even though it was clearly a lie.

"Well," he conceded, "it might sting a bit."

"Don't rush things. You'll make it worse."

He grumbled softly but sat down, poking at his legs again. As she'd expected, he hated the forced inactivity, and she doubted very much that he'd keep still, especially once he was outside. _There's too much to see.. _Helping him adjust his pyjamas she pushed the chair from the darkened room out into the hall, doing her very best to hide a smile when he saw Erica. The older woman didn't speak, didn't move, just smiled, yet he fidgeted and shuffled nervously in his chair as they passed her, and breathed a (badly hidden) sigh of relief once they were in the kitchen.

"She's really not so bad, you know."

"I know. It's just...something about her puts me on edge.."

"Erica's done a lot for us. She gave us both a nudge when we were nervous about getting too close, and she's let us both stay here till we sort out where we're going. I owe her a lot."

He seemed to consider that, wiggling his toes again, then looked up at her. "Only because she nudged?"

"Hmm?"

"We're only like this 'cause she nudged us?" He looked more than a little put out. "Can't see why I'd have needed one."

"Well," she amended, putting slices of bacon in a frying pan, "she nudged me more than you. I'd lost someone not long before I met you, and I was scared to let anyone else in. But she told me that I should take happiness where I found it, and I've never regretted that advice."

He smiled. "I'm glad."

"So, have you remembered anything else?"

"Bits and pieces," he mused, rolling his chair over to the stove and trying to see in the pan. "I remember meeting you. It was sunny, though it didn't feel like it was here, and you had orange overalls on."

"That's right. It wasn't here on Earth, but a colony up in space. I was there helping build our ship and mobile suits, which is why I was wearing the overalls. Did you see anything else?"

"The kid. And a strict-looking lady with black hair."

She smiled a little. "That would be Natarle. Lieutenant Badgiruel."

"I don't think I saw her on the ship.."

"No, you wouldn't have. She didn't go with us to Orb, but stayed with the Alliance. She ended up getting her own ship in the end."

He nodded thoughtfully. "Is she still there?"

"No." Leaning against the counter she rubbed a hand over her face. "No, she isn't."

"What happened?" When she didn't answer he reached out and took her other hand, squeezing gently. "Murrue?"

The lack of honourific caused a smile, but the tears had already started to fall. She hadn't really let herself cry since it all happened, and she'd never imagined she'd cry for Natarle, but still.. She was vaguely aware of him removing the pan from the heat and turning off the stove before pulling out a chair for her to sit down, and he kept hold of her hand.

"I killed her."

He blinked, evidently surprised, but didn't say anything.

"I've killed people before - I've had to, if my life or the lives of my friends were in danger. But this was different. It wasn't for self-preservation. It was because I _wanted_ to." She rubbed away more tears. Mwu's expression was of both sympathy and curiosity, and she reached out to brush fingertips over his face. "Because I thought she'd killed _you_. She - her ship - fired at us, and you took the shot for us. And you were gone, and she was there, and....I'd never hated anyone so much. I thought she'd taken you away from me, and.."

"And you fired back, huh?"

She nodded silently, the tears still falling. "But you're here. I killed her for no reason.."

"But if you hadn't, wouldn't she just have fired again?"

"I guess, but.."

"Don't blame yourself. You were fighting her, weren't you?"  
She nodded again.

"Then you did what you had to." Leaning forward he kissed her. "It's okay."

"It isn't. But thank you."

He smiled and ruffled her hair. "It will be. For both of us."

Murrue took a dishtowel and mopped up her tears before moving back to the stove to finish breakfast, conscious that he was still watching her and grateful for it. _You always knew just what to say...seems as though that hasn't changed. _"Mwu?"

"Hmm?"

"You don't think...that she'd blame me, do you?"

"I doubt it. From what I can remember of her she was a real soldier. She probably expected to die as one. Here," He moved his chair back to where she stood. "None of this is your fault."

"I wish I could believe that." She leaned down and kissed the top of his head. "I'm sorry. You have enough to cope with."

"Me? Nah. Can't use the legs so well yet, but this wheely thing gets me where I want to go, and my memories are coming back bit by bit. So no, it's not really much to cope with."

"Typical."

"Is it?" He grinned. "I wouldn't know. Anyway," he breezed, "now I've escaped from hospital, will you take me exploring? Where did we go before?"

"We went to the park most of the time. There's a lot to see there - lots of trees and flowers, a cafe in the middle, and a kids' playpark. We used to go on the swings after everyone had gone home and see who could swing highest."

"Did I win?"

She smiled. "You're heavier than me."

"Dammit.."

"It's true." She pushed the frying bacon to one side in the pan before adding eggs. "Did you want anything else? Sausage?"

"No, that's okay. Thanks."

He hadn't expected that. Murrue (he felt sure it was okay to call her that) was so gentle it seemed impossible she could ever kill anyone, least of all in cold blood. Sitting there on the little sofabed he watched her redress his scars, applying lotion and gauze before winding lengths of clean bandages, and thought about what she'd told him. _Because she thought she'd lost me. _Reaching out he stroked her hair, smiling a little when she leaned into the touch. _If I thought I'd lost her, wouldn't I react the same way? _

"I'd have done the same."

"Hmm?" She glanced up from where she was fastening the bandage together. "Done what?"

"If I thought someone had killed you, I'd kill them."

Murrue pinked, unwinding another length of soiled bandage. "Don't be silly."

"I'm serious."

She regarded him with an unreadable expression for a moment, then squeezed his hand. She didn't say anything, but she didn't have to. She understood.

* * *

He wondered what people must think of him. Covered up in cargo trousers and a long sleeved shirt, still-bandaged face plastered with sunscreen and topped off with a wide brimmed straw hat on an extremely hot day, and being pushed around in a wheelchair. He supposed people would be sympathetic, though perhaps curious and maybe even a bit scared of the way he looked - a lot of passers-by were trying very hard not to stare.

"I look weird?"

"No." She laid a hand on his shoulder. "Not at all. I think people just might be worried about hurting your feelings."

"Would I have been mad at them if I had my memories?"

"No. Most likely you'd be proud of those scars and how you got them."

"I am proud." he admitted with a smile, examining his hands. Some of the bandaging had been removed, though it still looked red - sunburned, almost - he was getting well slowly but surely. The docs back at the hospital had said it was likely he'd be scarred for life, but.. He peeked up over his shoulder at his companion, grinning like an idiot when she smiled at him. _It's definitely worth it. _

"Where do you want to go first?"

Mwu tapped his chin thoughtfully. "M'not sure. Don't remember this place yet. Where did I like to go?"

"We did go to the playpark a lot, but most of the stuff there needs you to have some strength in your legs. There's some nice flower gardens here, and the cafe sells good ice-cream - today is a day for fresh air and relaxing. You deserve it."

"That sounds nice.."

"Good." She adjusted his hat before pushing the chair further down the path, the breeze the movement caused taking the edge off the heat. He tried hard to see everything around him, the open green spaces and clumps of trees, the people out enjoying the sun - everyone looked so happy.

"It's nice here."

"It is. That's why we fought. There aren't that many places like this left in the world."

"But there are some? More than this?"

"Scandinavia. That's where Lacus-san's father came from. It's a lot bigger than Orb, and also a lot cooler."

"That sounds nice," he replied wistfully. He wasn't sure if he'd ever be used to the weather here. "Did you say something about ice-cream? I have a feeling I might like that."

Murrue laughed. "Yes, you do like it. But we'd better eat dinner first."

"Aww.."

* * *

"Good day?"

"Mmm-hmm.." Stretching out he yawned widely, settling back against her with a contented sigh. They'd come out to watch the sunset, and although evening had long since set in they were reluctant to move, he stretched out on the cushioned chair swing with his head on her lap. "Where can we go tomorrow?"

"If we can get your chair over the sand, we could visit Kira-kun. He'd like that."

"Yeah.." He stretched out a hand and trailed it in the grass, blue eyes half-closed. "I remember that park now.."

"Do you?"

He nodded. "At night, though. Sitting on the grass under that big tree watching the stars. I think we had a bottle of something."

She smiled, stroking his hair. "We did take wine sometimes, though we weren't supposed to. We had some nice evenings there."

"What did we talk about?"

"Everything. You liked to ask about what I did when I was a little girl, why I joined the military...all kinds of things."

"Why?"

"Because of how different our lives were. You didn't tell me about yours back then - it took you a long time before you were able to tell me."

"Cause mine was sad?"

She nodded. "And you've never told anyone else."

"I hope I don't remember it."

"If you do, it'll be okay. We'll get through it." She patted his shoulder gently. "C'mon now, we'd better get inside and see how that road map of yours is doing.."

"We can't stay out here longer?"

"If we stay out here much longer you'll fall asleep."

He grinned, peeking up at the swing canopy and stars beyond, then at her. "Might be quite nice."

"It would, but then I'd have to ask Erica to help me move you, and I'd still have to wake you up to change your bandages."

"Alright then, if you say so.." With her help he sat up, though he clearly wasn't happy, and heaved himself into the wheelchair. "It might be nice to sleep out there one night."

"And get woken at 5AM by the dawn."

"It could be romantic."

Murrue smiled. It _did_ sound like fun, and definitely something Mwu would come up with. "It could. We'd have to leave out the wine until you're off the antibiotics, though." Ignoring his grumbles she pushed the chair into the house past a grinning Erica. As always, he eyed the older woman nervously - why, she still had no idea.

"Bathroom's busy, and I have a feeling it'll stay that way for a while."

"Oh?"

Her friend shook her head. "Ryuta's holed himself up in there. He doesn't want to go to bed, you see, and he thinks I don't know where he is. Rather than end up chasing him, I just let him fall asleep then take him upstairs. It's not the first time he's done this."

She nodded, glancing down at Mwu. He hadn't complained but she knew he was tired, sweat staining the bandages and causing itching and discomfort. "I guess I get a bowl of water, then."

"Or I help you get him to your room. I know he can't walk for himself yet, but if we both support him, I think he'll be fine. What do you say, La Fllaga? Want to see Murrue's room?"

His grin could have lit up a city block.

_Man, this room is frilly._

He didn't know for sure, of course, but he suspected he wasn't a fan of frilly things, and he didn't think Murrue was either. It was a nice enough room, but the bed and small sofa were piled high with flower-patterned ruffly cushions, there was a flowery rug on the floor....sure, it was the Director lady's house, but damn. Murrue nodded in silent agreement, helping to walk him in to sit on the bed. His legs ached like hell, probably due to him not having used them in over a month, but to his satisfaction the pain in his feet had faded with each step he'd taken. _Bit more exercise, and I'll be up and about in no time. _

"Thanks."

"No problem. Call me if you want to come back downstairs, though I doubt that you will." Ruffling his hair the Director winked before leaving and closing the door behind her. Murrue smiled and shook her head.

"She's impossible."

"She's weird."

"I think she'd agree with you." She pecked a kiss to the tip of his nose. "C'mon, let's get you in the shower."

"Shower with me?"

She blushed faintly. "I shouldn't."

"Why not? Are you still worried about hurting me?"

"Of course I am."

"Don't be." Patting the bed beside him he wound an arm around her waist. "I think I've proved I'm pretty resilient. And," he nuzzled kisses to her cheek and neck until she squirmed, "we get some privacy."

"And how do you know we were _that_ close?"

He chuckled, tugging her onto his lap (ignoring the slight protest from his injuries). "I just know." As slowly as he could he slipped a hand under her T-shirt, inwardly rejoicing when her eyes fluttered closed. "See?"

"You're not playing fair.."

"M'not, am I? Never mind." He continued the attention until she murmured softly, and when he moved to tug the T-shirt off she even smiled, raising her arms to help him out. She was beautiful, just as he'd thought - just as he'd known. It was very tempting to just forget about the shower, to flick off the light and see where things took them, but he knew how seriously she took caring for him. "Shall we go, then?"

"Hmm? Go where?"

"Get washed. I'll do your back."

She smiled hazily. "No funny business."

"Can't promise that, I'm afraid. Not if I get to see the rest of you."

Murrue laughed, climbing off his lap and slipping an arm around his shoulders. "We'll see about that."

He hadn't changed. _I don't know why I thought he would have. _Against her better judgment she'd showered with him, though she really didn't remember much of it. She remembered bathing his wounds, helping him wash his hair, then after that things had gotten a little hazy. Soap, and hot water, and kisses. His smile - she always remembered that, even when he made her forget everything else. It was there now as she dressed and bandaged his injuries, blue eyes twinkling with a familar mischief. She knew what he wanted, and was having a hard time convincing herself it was a bad idea....she'd missed being close.

"What if I made you go downstairs?"

His smile became wicked. "But you won't."

She fastened the last of the bandages, trying hard to hide a smile of her own. "Won't I?"

Mwu caught her arm, trailing kisses over her skin until she shivered. "No. C'mere."

_Ah, to hell with it. _What was the use of pretending? Climbing onto his lap she accepted his kiss, giggling when she felt roughened fingers loosening her towel.

"You'll have to do most of it," he murmured between kisses. "At least for now. Is that okay?"

Murrue nodded with a smile and helped him settle back into the pillows before moving closer, biting her lip to stifle a gasp. Definitely okay.

* * *

"I didn't hurt you, did I?"

He smiled, brushing a hand over her hair. "How could you have?" If there had been pain he didn't remember it, and certainly wouldn't have cared if he did. It had been everything he'd imagined and perhaps even better, dreams and half-remembered memories not holding a candle to reality. She looked as tired as he felt, amber eyes half-closed, but she was smiling, cheeks flushed a pale pink. "You wanted this too."

She crinkled her nose a little. "Still shouldn't have done it."

"Why not?" He ran a hand down her side and over her stomach, grinning when she quivered. "Bout time I paid you back for everything you've done."

"You don't need to.." Her voice trailed off into a quiet sigh as his hand moved a little lower. "Pest.."

"I am, aren't I?"

Her answer was to whimper softly, thin fingers curled around the bedsheet.

"Does this help?"

She smiled, eyes closing as she moved to feel more of him. Helping it clearly was, though whether she still cared about that was anyone's guess. He chuckled, dusting kisses to her neck and cheek before catching her lips to muffle her cries as it finally became too much. "There we are."

Murrue blinked open her eyes in an attempt to focus on him, the gaze filled with sheer affection. "You always know how to get your own way.."

"Yep. And I'm going to keep doing this. If you're working so hard to get me well the least I can do is help you relax, right?"

She laughed softly, moving close to kiss him. "Sounds like a good deal to me."

* * *

( Smuttage for sis, since she's not going to have a good evening :hugs:

please read and review! )


	17. Chapter 17

"What are you up to?"

She glanced up at her friend with a smile, tapping the end of her pen against her chin. "Research, I guess."

"On what?"

"Him." Murrue pointed outside to the garden, where he was sitting on the lawn under a large parasol. "He told me stories of what it was like growing up - he had a pretty rough time of it - and he mentioned going to live with an aunt and uncle in Iowa when he was about ten. It sounds like he kept his distance from them, but I always wondered how they felt about him. So I decided to ask them." She tapped the letter she was in the process of writing. "About what Mwu was like, whether they have any pictures of him, that sort of thing."

Erica sat down opposite, taking an apple from the fruit bowl. "Not just for his benefit, though."

"No, not just for his. I want to know what his family's like."

"You don't want to talk to them like you were able to with your mom and dad?"

She shook her head. "I don't want to impose. With a letter, if they don't want to write back, they don't have to. The only thing I'm worried about is it being intercepted."

"It might put them in danger."

"Yes. The only thing I can do is word it as ambiguously as I can and hope they understand. But I still want to try." Chin resting on her hand she smiled a little, watching him wiggle his toes. "I want to give him his family back."

"He has you, though."

"Yes, he does. But I want him to know he has more than that."

The older woman nodded, taking a bite of her apple. "How about your mom and dad?"

"Taking advantage of the confusion. The Alliance are too focused on consolidating what they have left to take much notice of civilians, so they should be able to get away without any trouble." Which was a relief. If all went well, they should be in Orb by this time next week. _I want Mwu to meet them. I want them to see why I love him. _"Dad may take some persuading, but Mom already likes him."

"Hard not to, especially when he's like this. He's like a kid."

"He is more innocent, somehow. It's quite sweet."

"Ryuta likes him."

Murrue grinned. "Does he? I'm glad. They can play."

"You think La Fllaga would want to? Would it bring back more memories?"

"Can't bring back what was never there," she replied softly, glancing back out at him. "Mwu didn't have much of a childhood."

"No better time to learn."

"Very true." Setting down her pen she walked out through the sunroom into the garden, leaning down to ruffle his hair gently. Mwu smiled, leaning into the touch with a happy sigh. She'd used less bandages today, exposing skin on his arms and legs to the fresh air on the proviso that he stayed under the parasol so he wouldn't get burned. "How are you feeling?"

"Hot," he replied cheerfully. "But I like it. The breeze feels nice."

"Good." She sat down beside him under the parasol. "I think the weather will take a little more getting used to, but we have plenty of time."

"Was it like this where I lived before?"

"No. Where you grew up it could be pretty stormy, and the winters were cold. Most of your time in the military you'd have been on air-conditioned bases or ships. So this kind of heat is new."

He nodded thoughtfully. "But we were here before.."

"Yes, for about a month or so. But we couldn't spend as much time out here as we'd have liked - things were pretty busy."

"But not now."

"Not for us, they aren't. But.." She pointed across the bay to the tangle of girders and cranes that had seemingly grown up overnight. "They are for Erica. They have to rebuild Morgenroete from the ground up, and she has to oversee it all."

He whistled softly. "No wonder she looks so tired sometimes.."

"Yes. I've offered to help her but she won't hear of it. She says I have to focus on getting you well. But still.."

"I know. Couldn't we do something anyway? Whether she wants us to or not? Not that _I_ can do much..."

"Actually, I think that you can. You've met Ryuta-kun, haven't you?"

He beamed. "He let me play with his cars." The words and the smile were filled with such enthusiasm Murrue had to look away, swallowing a lump in her throat. Scrubbing at her nose to hide the tears she forced a smile at his quizzical expression.

"I'm okay. Tickle in my nose."

Mwu sighed, shaking his head. "Don't hide stuff from me. Please?"

"Huh?"

He reached down to take her hand, squeezing gently. "Something I said made you sad, but you're pretending it didn't. What is it?"

She closed her eyes and smiled a little. _Of course he'd notice. He always notices. _"Yes. I'm sorry. It was just how happy you looked about the cars."

"Did I ever have any? When I was a kid?"

"I don't know." she answered honestly. "But from what you told me before, it doesn't sound like you had much of a childhood."

"I see." He poked at bandaged legs.

"Do you wish I hadn't told you?"

"No. I'm glad you did. I can't choose what I want to remember and what I don't."

She shuffled close and rested her head on his shoulder. "I wish you could."

"But I can learn." He smiled suddenly, sombre mood gone. "All the stuff I didn't know." A chuckle. "I think I might enjoy learning how to be a kid."

Murrue smiled. "I'm sure you will. And you know, Ryuta-kun isn't the only one who can teach you. One of the most important things you learn as a child is how to make your _own_ fun."

"Thought I already knew how." He wiggled his eyebrows, laughing when she swatted his arm. "Okay, okay. Being serious now. Own fun."

She tried hard to look scolding, but couldn't prevent the smile twitching the corners of her lips. "Right. And I think I know how you can learn."

* * *

The beach was full of kids. Surprised, he looked up at Murrue, who gave him a sweet smile and continued to push the chair along the path. "They're orphans," she replied. "A priest called Malchio took them in after their parents were killed in the war. Kira-kun and Lacus-san live with him now too, as does Kira-kun's mother."

"Why?"

"Lacus-san is very well known, especially among those from the PLANT's. Living here gives her something close to a normal life. Kira-kun's mother just lost her husband, and Kira-kun himself.....well, he's very fond of Lacus-san."

He grinned. "Really now?"

"Don't tease him."

"Aww.."

"Now come on. You wouldn't like it if he did it to you."

"I might." He leaned back in the chair, taking a deep breath of cool scented air. Being teased about his relationship with Murrue didn't sound so bad - it wasn't as if he'd deny how he felt about her. "Do you think he would?"

"Actually no, I don't." She pushed the chair up a gentle slope and pointed ahead. "That's where they live." The hill looked out over a wide beach, the sand so white it hurt his eyes for a moment. The ocean was turquoise, the sky blue....it was beautiful.

"Wow.."

"I know. I was the same when I first saw it too. Malchio-sama says it's not paradise - they get some pretty bad storms - but it's home." Leaning over his shoulder she gestured to a small wooden house sheltered by the cliffs. It didn't look like much, but the kids running around looked pretty happy. A few of them looked up as they saw the chair and swarmed across to meet them, all jumping up and down clamouring to be hugged and talking nineteen to the dozen. His companion fielded the many questions with her customary patience and kindness, even lifting one of the smallest kids up. Mwu smiled a little - it seemed right, somehow.

"Here." He patted his lap. "Set 'em down here."

"But.."

"It's alright. Little guy won't hurt me."

The kid stared at him, eyes wide. Confused for a moment Mwu reached up to touch his face....and understood. "I'm sorry. I must look scary, huh?"

A silent nod.

"Big brother got hurt in an accident," Murrue said softly, setting the boy down and kneeling to be closer to his height. "I'm helping him get better, but I need your help too. He's forgotten all the things he did and the games he played when he was little. Do you think you could help me teach him?"

The kids looked from her to him and back. "Okay."

"Thank you, Now, does anyone want to ride in the chair all the way to Malchio-sensei's house?"

Mwu smiled and held out his hands to lift that smallest kid up onto his lap, laughing when he reached up to touch the bandages on his face. "Do they tickle?"

"Yep."

"They tickle me too. But Murrue-san will get mad at me if I take them off."

"Really?"

"Oh yeah. She's scary when she gets mad." Feeling a tweak to his ear he glanced up and back at his girlfriend, flashing an innocent smile at her raised eyebrow. "See?"

The kids giggled at that, even more so when she swatted him round the head. He bore it with good grace, knowing she wasn't really angry with him, and screwed up his nose when the little kid patted it.

"Is big sister Lacus at the house?"

"Uh-huh. Auntie's helping her make lunch."

"Seems like we arrived just in time. Think there'll be enough for two extra?"

"Sure!"

And sure enough, as they got closer to the house the scent of cooking food wafted up to greet them. It smelled good, very good (though not as good as Murrue's cooking) and he looked up with a sheepish grin as he heard his stomach rumble. He'd eaten quite a lot that morning, bacon, eggs, sausage, tomatoes and toast, but here he was hungry again just a few hours later. She never teased or scolded him for eating too much, just sat opposite him at the kitchen table and watched with her chin resting on her hands, still with that happy smile. The Director said that she indulged him and perhaps she was right, but it did feel kind of nice. _I just wish I could do more for her in return... _

As they neared the little house more kids came haring out of the door, most of whom charged Murrue with squeals of delight. Sitting back in his chair he watched with a mixture of amusement and fondness - he'd seen that Ryuta liked her, but he had no idea she was apparently irresistible to children. They all jumped up and down, all talking at once and wanting to be first to be hugged until she had to put her hands over her ears with a laugh. "One at a time!"

"They love her." Mwu looked up at the soft voice to see that pink-haired girl - Lacus, Murrue had called her - standing with another kid in her arms. "There's just something about her."

"That's true," he admitted quietly. "Felt that when I saw her."

"Have you remembered anything more?"

"Bits and pieces. Something she'll say will remind me of something she said before, and that reminds me of something else. It's pretty slow going, but I'll get there eventually."

"I'm glad to hear it. And I'm glad you came to visit. Kira was talking about bringing the children across to Onogoro to visit Ryuta-kun, but Erica-san is too busy right now."

He nodded. "Maybe next time we come we can bring him over too."

"That would be nice. But today you have to stay for dinner. Fish pie."

"Sounds good."

"If you like it, I'll give Murrue-san the recipe. She mentioned that you have a pretty big appetite."

He made a face, but wasn't able to deny it, much to her amusement. Murrue had said that it was a good thing that he ate a lot - that it meant he'd get stronger and better faster - but the Director just teased him about it. _She says I shouldn't eat so much with no exercise.. _He poked at his legs, feeling the bandaging under the cargo trousers, and sighed.

"Have you tried standing up a little?"

"Some. On good days I get helped upstairs to Murrue's room, and other days we sleep on the sofabed downstairs. I think she'd prefer it if I didn't push myself too hard."

"But you want to walk again."

He smiled a little. "She works so hard to help everyone. I just want to give her one less thing to worry about."

The Lacus girl smiled. "After lunch I'll ask Kira to take you and the children up to the path and you can practice up there. Don't worry about Murrue-san, Yamato-san and I will keep her occupied."

"Thanks. I owe you one."

She shook her head. "Friends help each other."

* * *

He looked different, somehow. Not just because of the bandages that still swathed his body, or the hair that had gotten rather long, but in a way that was harder to explain. He and the orphans sat on the porch of the small house playing with a set of wooden blocks Athrun had made, building them up into a castle. It wasn't something he'd imagined Mwu-san would be interested in, yet he was right there in the middle of it all, placing blocks with surprising care with a smile as bright as any of the children's.

"What do you think?"

Kira glanced back at Murrue-san, noting her fond smile. "It's like he's one of them."

"Let him enjoy it. Plenty of time to act grown up later."

"That's true." Lacus had asked him to take Mwu-san and the children up to the woods to give him opportunity to practice walking unsupervised while she taught Murrue-san how to make the pie they'd had for lunch. He wasn't at all sure the older woman would appreciate the deception, but he knew Mwu-san well enough to guess he was fed up of the wheelchair.

And he was right. Almost as soon as they were hidden by the trees Mwu-san tried to stand up, blue eyes narrowed with the effort and probably pain, and without waiting for help he stepped out onto the path, legs wobbling slightly.

"Don't you think you should.."

"Take it easy?" Mwu-san managed a short laugh, reaching to wipe beaded sweat from his forehead. "No-one ever says anything different. Not even when I have physiotherapy. The Director keeps telling me it's not a race, and I know she's right. But.."

"Here then." To his friend's obvious surprise Kira moved close to offer his shoulder to lean on, and glanced around at the orphans. "We'll all help. Right?"

A series of nods, one of the smaller ones reaching to take Mwu-san's other hand, and together they set off slowly down the path. His friend fought for breath, cheeks flushed bright red, but he had that determined look Kira had previously only seen Murrue-san wear. _The one where she's facing an uphill struggle but isn't anywhere close to giving up. She's rubbed off on him. _

"You okay? Round this tree, then we'll head back."

"But.."

"Don't try and do too much at once."

Mwu-san grumbled but nodded, leaning against the tree when they reached it to get his breath back. But he was smiling. "Feel stronger already."

"You okay, mister?"

He nodded, accepting Kira's help to sit down on the grass to talk to the children better. "I'm okay. See, 'cause of the accident, my legs have forgotten how to walk, and Murrue-san's been looking after me and helping me get about. But she helps Erica-san with her housework too, and she gets really tired. So the faster I get better, the easier it'll be for her."

"Is Murrue-san your girlfriend?"

"Yes, she is. Is that all right?"

"Uh-huh."

"Glad to hear it." Catching hold of Kira's hand he got back to his feet, still wobbling a little. "Now I'm going to try walking by myself. See how far I can get." And before anyone could say a word to stop him he was off, arms held out for balance. His steps were jerky and stiff at first, probably as a result of him not having used his legs properly for a while, but though he stumbled more than once he didn't stop until he reached his chair, bandaged face alight with a huge smile. "There."

Kira shook his head with a grin of his own. "You're going to be really sore tomorrow."

"It'll be fine."

"Don't say I didn't warn you."

* * *

It was a quiet evening. Sitting at the small table in the sunroom she looked out the open door across the bay. The lights from the city and the partly-rebuilt Morgenroete facility reflected off the darkened ocean along with the stars and she smiled, resting her chin on a hand to watch for a while. The letter to his aunt and uncle was almost finished, she deciding to enclose a photograph of him Erica had taken the other week. She'd written of their meeting and of his kindness, of how she'd depended on him, and finally of how he'd saved them and her hope that they'd be proud of him. Hearing a faint snore she stifled a laugh, peeking back over her shoulder at him. He'd fallen asleep not long after dinner, spreadeagled on the sofabed with his hair all in his face - today must have tired him out. _He hasn't been so far from home before. But he seemed to enjoy it. _

"Murrue?"

Seeing Erica at the door she pressed a finger to her lips, gesturing to the sleeping man. Her friend grinned and nodded, tiptoeing into the room. "Did you finish the letter? If you leave it by the clock in the kitchen I'll post it tomorrow."

"I will. I was able to use the computer on _Archangel_ to get their address. I just hope they're not being watched."

"It's worth the risk?"

She nodded, signing her name to the bottom of the letter and tucking it and the photo inside the envelope. "He's their nephew. Whether or not they were close, they're still family."

"That's true." Leaning on the table Erica watched Mwu sleep. "Think he'll be happy?"

"I think he'll definitely be interested."

"Maybe he can start over with them?"

"Maybe he can." And if he wanted to, then she'd be there to help him.

* * *

( whee

please read and review! )


	18. Chapter 18

She found him ocean-watching. It seemed to be his favourite place, a patch of grass shaded by trees with a perfect view of the bay. He sat there in silence, eyes faraway - either lost in thought or memory, and she decided not to disturb him. As quietly as she could she turned to walk away, only for him to glance up with a smile and hold out a hand. "You don't have to leave."

"I didn't want to disturb you."

"You aren't. Here," He patted the grass beside him. "I was just thinking."

"About what?"

"That I've seen this before." He pointed out over the bay. "When it looked different."

Murrue smiled, sitting down close to him. "What did it look like?"

"That place where all the cranes are - there was a building there before, one that was so bright I couldn't look at it. And close by was a track leading up to nowhere."

"Morgenroete. The factory Erica used to run, and the one she has to oversee being rebuilt. The track was a mass driver, something ships can use to get up into space."

He nodded. "What happened to it? Did it get attacked?"

"Onogoro did." She fiddled with a blade of grass. "They wanted the driver, and didn't care how many people died as long as they got it. To prevent that it and Morgenroete were destroyed from the inside." The memories of that day still caused pain and she closed her eyes against it, only looking up when he took her hand and squeezed gently.

"Did I remind you of something sad? I'm sorry."

"No, it's alright." Rubbing at her eyes she smiled. "That was just a bad day."

"I'll bet it was. Did I help?"

She took his arm and settled close. "Of course you did." That was one of the better memories of that day. He'd found her at the observation window not long after they'd arrived in space, arms wound around herself and he'd just wrapped her in a hug, chin resting on top of her head. He hadn't said anything - he hadn't needed to, and she'd appreciated it. Glancing up she kissed his cheek. "Thank you."

He chuckled. "Thanking me for something I don't remember."

"You _will_ remember, though." She brought his hand close and kissed the back of it. "I know you will."

"Yeah."

"This might help." She tugged an envelope from the pocket of the apron she'd been wearing whilst washing the breakfast dishes. "I got this in the mail. It's from your aunt and uncle."

Mwu blinked. "Really?"

She nodded, opening the envelope to retrieve a letter and a sheaf of photographs. "I'd gotten their address from your service record, and I wrote to them last week."

"Why?"

"They're your family. You helped me get in touch with my parents - they should be arriving here sometime in the next few days - so I wanted to do the same for you. And they were happy that I did. Your aunt in particular. She even sent some pictures of you."

"Can...can I see?"

In reply she placed the bundle of photos on his lap, letting him flick through them at his own pace. The first was of him as a young boy of nine or ten, probably not long after his parents had died, and the expression on his face brought a lump to her throat. Not sad, not angry, just completely blank. As though nothing mattered anymore. He stared down at the image, blue eyes faraway.

"They had a room all ready for me," he murmured softly. "She said they'd been waiting for me to visit for a very long time.."

Murrue smiled. "She mentioned in the letter that she and your uncle weren't able to have children of their own."

He shook his head. "They'd babysit the neighbourhood kids, run after-school groups....anything that let them look after children. I was angry."

"Why?"

A little smile. "I didn't think it was fair." He ran a hand through his hair. "I didn't know pictures worked this well."

She rested her head on his shoulder. "Did you wish your mom and dad had been more like them?"

"My aunt and my mom were pretty similar - they even looked alike. No, it was more like the other kids had had the life I'd always wanted.." Leaning back he rubbed at the bridge of his nose. "Ow."

"Are you okay?"

"Headache." he admitted ruefully. "Too much there."

"I'm sorry. I'll put them away."

"No, don't. Can I see the next one?"

The next photograph turned out to be one of him sitting at a table in front of an enormous blue and white cake bearing eleven candles, which made him smile. "Snowing something fierce that day, and not many of the other kids my aunt had invited could make it. Not that I really had any friends."

She poked at his ribs. "Always hiding yourself."

"Don't get hurt that way."

"You don't _live_ that way." Aware she was scolding Murrue shook her head. "But I understand. And you look pretty surprised there."

"I think that might be the first time I'd ever had a birthday cake."

"I'll make you one."

"My birthday's soon?"

She grinned at how childlike the question sounded. "Yes. In a couple of weeks."

"How old will I be?"

"Twenty-eight. You can have candles."

He laughed, winding an arm around her waist. "Thanks."

* * *

He spent a lot of time looking at those photographs. His favourite, the one that brought back the most memories, was of him at about fifteen or sixteen, clothed in light blue overalls and standing beside a small plane. His aunt had written in the letter that it had been the day he'd gotten his pilot's licence, and that the original of the picture still sat in a frame on her bookcase. _She said that they'd been proud of me. That I'd found something I wanted to do, something that made me happy. _The number of memories that the pictures had brought back still surprised him. Little things. The way the wind had blown through the dozens of cornfields, how high the snow had piled up in winter, the smell of his uncle's cough drops, even the taste of the birthday cake. Murrue had given all that back to him. _I owe her so much I'll never be able to repay her.. _But he could try. Putting the letter and photos back in the envelope he used the nearby wheelchair to climb to his feet, setting off slowly across the lawn. The more he practiced walking the easier it became, the pain from protesting muscles growing less each day, but there were still occasions when he stumbled or fell, causing grass stains and bruises he doubted his excuses to his girlfriend covered. _All the same.._

"Should you be doing that?"

The voice caught him off guard, he losing his balance and toppling over to land flat on his face.

"Are you alright?"

"Oww.."

A moment later a hand appeared, letting him pull on it to move into a sitting position. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you fall."

"No, it's fine. I do it a lot." Brushing the grass from his shirt he looked up at his helper - and blinked. "You look like Murrue."

The woman laughed, a network of faint lines appearing around strikingly familiar amber eyes. "Thank you very much. Do you remember me?" He paused, chewing bottom lip, then shook his head. The woman nodded. "She mentioned the amnesia. Well, I wanted to thank you. You're the reason we came out here." She looked up and behind her to a tall man with salt-and-pepper hair, and Mwu thought he understood.

"You're her parents.."

The woman smiled. "That's right. I'm Lily, and this is Peter. Is Murrue here?"

"In the house, I think. The Director - the person the house belongs to - is at work, and even though she said she doesn't want to be repaid for letting us stay here Murrue still wants to. She does housework and cooking and stuff. Me.." He wiggled his toes. "Well, I can't do much."

"But you're here. I'd say that was enough."

"You think so?"

Ramius-san smiled. "Yes. Here;" Holding out her hand again she helped him into the wheelchair. "Let's go find her."

"Would it be alright....if you didn't tell her you'd caught me walking? She's pretty strict about that."

A laugh. "Sure. So you've been hiding out up here so she won't see you?"

He nodded, feeling rather like a kid caught doing something he shouldn't. "I have physiotherapy up at the hospital a couple of times a week, and sometimes if she'd not too busy she'll help me walk over the lawn and stuff. But..."

"You want to walk so you can help her."

"Yeah.."

"I think she'd understand." Taking the handles of the wheelchair Ramius-san pushed him out into the main garden, the wheels crunching on gravel path. Murrue was working on part of the Director's garden, weeding and watering, and glanced up when she heard him approach.

"Dinner's ready in..." She never finished the sentence, dropping watering can and racing toward them, the force of her hug almost knocking her mother off her feet. The older woman just smiled.

"Hello, sweetie."

"You made it.."

Her dad moved to ruffle her hair, smiling himself just a little. "Good place to retire out to."

"Like you'd retire. The two of you never slow down."

"Maybe we can now," her mother replied cheerfully. "We can sit back and watch you and your young man here."

Murrue flushed. "Mom.."

"It'll be fun."

Mwu grinned. _Probably it will be.._

_

* * *

  
_

"What do you think?"

A shrug. "He's not bad."

She sighed and shook her head, leaning against his shoulder. "You always have a problem with them."

"After what happened to the last one, do you blame me?"

"Peter, he didn't ask to get shot down."

"I know that. But she's been hurt enough."

"The war's over now. She can settle down here with him and have the life you always hoped she would."

"If it works out."

"You've seen the way they look at each other. She's told me his memories are coming back, and that even if they didn't it wouldn't change how she felt about him. That's just the way she is."

He made a face but said nothing, watching as their daughter helped young Mwu walk slowly across the lower lawn. As they walked he said something to her that made her blush and smile, she pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"She does seem happy."

"You can tell that she is. She told me about the house she's found for the two of them - she's really excited about it."

"Think we were right to come here?"

Lily smiled. "I do. Somewhere with fine weather, somewhere safe, and we can see Murrue as much as we want to. How much would we have given for something like that a year ago?"

"That's true. Plus with the sale of the house and the store we have enough to start over. I guess it worked out for the best."

"It did. You think they'll give us any grandchildren?"

Peter chuckled. "Don't go embarrassing her."

"You're no fun."

* * *

"What do you think of them?"

"Your mom's nice. She said she'd show me pictures of you when you were little."

Murrue palmed her face, perching on the side of the bed. They'd left San Francisco with only the items they could carry, the things that couldn't be replaced, and one of those things had turned out to be the family photo album. Her mother had promised to tell Mwu as many stories as he wanted to hear. "She does like you."

"I'm not sure your dad does."

"Dad's always been that way with boyfriends. His bark is worse than his bite, though."

He wrinkled his nose. "Promise?"

"I promise." She leaned down to kiss his forehead before beginning to unwind the bandages from around his face. The wounds were healing nicely, fading to reddish-pink scars that he'd probably bear for the rest of his life. The one on his face made him look quite different, winding over left cheekbone before forking up over the bridge of his nose and a little way up his forehead, but she didn't mind it. _It's not like it makes him a different person. _Taking the jar of lotion she dabbed it carefully on the wound, smiling when he fidgeted. At first the routine had hurt him, water and antiseptic causing the wounds to sting, but now they were healing over with new skin they'd apparently become quite sensitive. "Sit still."

"If you get closer."

She made a show of rolling her eyes. "That wouldn't make you sit still."

"But it'd be more fun."

"I take it Mom and Dad being in the same house doesn't change things."

Mwu grinned. "And you wouldn't like it if it did. Don't deny it."

"Someone sounds very sure of himself."

"I do, don't I? But if you kept your distance from me it'd hurt." He shuffled back to let her move closer. "I just thought it'd work the same the other way."

"It would," she admitted. "And they understand." Taking a roll of clean bandage she wound it around his head, brushing blonde hair from his eyes. "This needs a trim."

"Hmm." Winding an arm around her waist he brought her down to lie beside him, nuzzling kisses to her neck and shoulders as his hand crept under her nightdress. She smiled, closing her eyes, and squirmed a little at the gentle touch. He laughed softly. "Now who needs to keep still?"

She grumbled at his teasing tone, trying to wriggle free but he kissed her, taking his time with it until she forgot herself and kissed him back, toes curling at his continued caresses, and when he moved to tug the light comforter over them both she never noticed.

She wasn't there when he woke up. Having seen the way she was here and having a distant recollection of her on their ship he wasn't surprised to see her sitting on the window seat gazing out into the night. She was smiling, amber eyes faraway - whatever she was dreaming of, it was clearly pleasant. As he watched she curled up, chin resting on her knees, and peeked sideways, smile becoming gentle, affectionate. "Sorry."

He shook his head. "For what? Looked like a nice dream."

"I was just thinking about how I have almost everything I ever wanted.."

"Almost?"

Murrue hopped off the window seat and back over to him, cuddling close when he lifted up the covers. "All that's left is to finish the work on that house and we can move in once you're well."

"I _am_ well."

"You're healing, but just because you practice walking when you think I'm not watching doesn't mean you're well."

He made a face. "Didn't hide that as good as I thought. But we can still go live together - I can get about just fine."

"But.."

"It's alright, really. Besides, while it's nice being able to stay here it's causing trouble for the Director, not least because she let your mom and dad stay here too."

"I know. You think it'd be okay?"

Mwu smiled, kissing the crown of her hair. "It'll be great. Trust me."

* * *

( It's never mentioned what happened to Murrue's family or if she even has one, so I thought I'd write one for her lol.

please read and review! )


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